Bolivia: Mission 2022 (EDITED)

First, I cannot tell you how excited we are about the upcoming mission trip. Sneads First Assembly is partnering with Focus Forward Ministries, Inc. to build a church and host kids crusades! There has not a single day gone by since I left in 2018 that I have not had thoughts of Bolivia. It was so much more than words can express. My heart is still so marked by what God has done in our lives since 2011, when we first began building churches and hosting kids crusades in schools.

I scanned pictures from several years worth of crusades looking for one particular picture this evening–and when I found it –it was like the day just unfolded in my mind all over again.

While the puppets were singing “loudly”, and the games were being played with much excitement and squeals from the elementary children in the front yard of a school, a family, walking down the road stopped to see what all the excitement was about. They stayed for the story.

At the end of the story, our daughter, April gave an invitation to all the children to raise their hand if they wanted to ask Jesus to come into their heart and forgive them of their sins. A simple Gospel message meant for children, but it touched the heart of a daddy outside the fence. As she gave the invitation, I took pictures of the raised hands of many kids sitting on the grass. Moving a few feet to the left to get a clearer picture of the group, I saw the hand of the daddy go up while his head was bowed in reverence. Tears sprang to my eyes as I watched the hand of God move in our midst. I cannot describe to you what I felt that day. What a trip that was. At the conclusion of the message and prayer, our team handed out Bibles that had been purchased for us to take and distribute to the children, teens and any adult that wanted one. This daddy and mama both got one, as did their children.

Our team is filled with gratitude at what your gifts and donations allow us to do. Carry the Gospel–sharing the Word–and leaving the Word behind to grow and flourish under the guidance of the pastors we work with. Thank you.

If you would like to be a part of this trip but can’t go–we have several ways you can join in:

We need prayer partners. Begin praying now. Opposition will be faced I am sure by many team members–but we KNOW God is able to destroy all opposing forces! Pray now for each member’s health, finances, passport delivery for those waiting, for the families of the team members and most of all –for those who we are going to be ministering to and building for;

We would love to be able to take Bibles again. We need the help to do that. Chase Curti is the one who orders them and can get you a price on how much each one costs. We like to give them out on the last day to all the students at each school and faculty.

Something I didn’t realize we would need until we began taking an inventory of what we normally pack–our puppets are no longer with us. It is not uncommon for things to disappear from luggage on trips… If you are interested in helping buy puppets, or would like to send us some–we would be incredibly grateful. We generally only use four-to-five. If you’ve not ever shopped for puppets, we have bought some from Amazon, but I learned the hard way, some don’t fit adult hands. 😀

The best ones we had came from a company called “Folkmanis Puppets“. A friend bought me a “Chicken” from there and sadly, she was in the missing puppet bag. What I will probably do this time instead of putting them all in one bag, I may ask each team member to pack the beloved puppet in their carry-on 🙂 Won’t that be fun :). If you want to help with the puppets just let one of us know. We can build a character around almost anything.

THE LOST PUPPETS HAVE BEEN FOUND! They were handed over to someone in 2017 for safe keeping….all sealed up in a vacuum seal bag… PTL!!!

Gosh, I wish you could go…

I’m closing tonight with some beautiful children who found Jesus in 2015…seeds were planted. They’ve been watered as we went back each year (until 2020 when you know what hit the nations). I hope we can see how the seeds planted have grown and developed!

New Bibles
Headed Home with the Word

Praying the sinners prayer

More to come !


Thankful Thursday

It’s been a minute.

Last week, on the phone with someone from a family we were currently serving at the funeral home, the caller asked to speak with a co-worker who was also on the phone. I asked the caller if she could call them back in a few minutes. The caller said, “is it a minute that’s just a minute, or is a minute that like hours long.” That took me by surprise. No one had ever asked how long a minute was….it was 60 seconds last time I checked. I don’t think the span of one complete minute has changed since I went to school, but then I remembered; the term “it’s been a minute” could mean anywhere from one minute to several months, possibly years I suppose, for this generation.

I get confused at times at the changes in terminology. It’s been actually a few years since I wrote a Thankful Thursday online. Back in 2007, Thankful Thursday’s were a regular occurrence with several other devotional writers. It caused me to pause every single Thursday and give thanks out-loud to the World Wide Web. Yesterday–I was reminded…it’s time. It’s been over a minute.

There are so many things I have to be thankful for, I will hit just a few this morning:

The presence of and my relationship with God.

I’m thankful for Friday: A specific Friday, and what took place on the “Friday”: The complete and total sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as He surrendered His life to the cross for our sins, and was resurrected on the third day–and now is at the right hand of God the Father, always attentive to our lives and the needs in our lives.

I’m thankful for the ability to pray and attend church services freely without fear of death or persecution.

I’m thankful for my sweet family–every-single-one. We have been blessed to have mother and grandbuddy move closer to my sister, Aimee and I–and with things in this world as they are and health issues, I’ve never been more grateful that to have the ability to just drive about three miles to check on them.

I’m thankful for our home. We’ve been in our home since February and I still walk around sometimes in amazement that God would bless us with the desires of our heart so deliberately. I mean–you would have to know how many times my sister and I walked by this house built in the early 70’s and almost jokingly claimed it for us as a retirement home because of it’s perfect location. It was no joke to God. He knew exactly what we would need and when we would need it.

I’m thankful for health. We have faced new health issues the past few years and they have made me appreciate the good health we have had for so long. Heart issues are scary anyway–but when it’s the love of your life having them…we celebrate the fact that God hears and heals. Sometimes He does it outright–sometimes He uses medicine, procedures and physicians. We are thankful for all of it! And I’m thankful to have my sweet husband a little less stressed 🙂

I’m thankful for our daughters, their husbands, and all the wonderful grandchildren! From 20 years old to two years old–we have the blessings that only can come from the grace and mercy of Almighty God! Are they perfect? Are you kidding? But they are ours and we love them and pray for them all constantly.

I’m thankful for our church family. I have learned so much in my life sitting under various pastors, and I’m thankful that every single one of them have had a heart for missions;–the community, the city, the nation and the world. And our church reaches both near and far. It’s sad to watch churches dwindle down to nothing and have to close it’s doors. I wonder sometimes if it is their short arms…. not reaching beyond their doors, not looking at the whole picture–the whole world.

I’m thankful for my job. I found it very odd that when we returned from Bolivia (early), as I was struggling with severe depression–(a few times I felt to the point of just wanting God to take me home), that God would sit me down to work and serve in a funeral home. How ironic. But He as the healing and restoration has come, God has allowed me to love on and serve hurting families. Healed through serving. I don’t think it happens like that much of the time. But for me, He chose this way.

I’m thankful for my next door neighbors. 😉 This was actually the sweetest prayer answered, to me, since my baby sister lives next door! We both realize that nothing in our lives is guaranteed to stay the way it is, especially for those serving in ministry. I’m not so tied to this home, nor she hers, should God see fit to call either of us to a place beyond the limits of our sweet city. We must all remain flexible and pliable in God’s hands. Otherwise, the twisting and molding, chiseling and carving that must be done on us can get so painful (hand raised in acknowledgement). The process of change still hurts, but when we surrender to His hands–and are still before Him, it’s much easier than if we balk and demand our own way. Our way is not the best way–only God’s way is.

I just realized I’ve written more than the normal “thankful Thursday” used to be. We kind of kept it at a shorter limit…because you know, people get tired of reading… But my heart and life is full of things to be thankful for! I bet yours is too. Feel free to leave a comment with YOUR thankful’s for this Thursday!

A beautiful park not far from San Jose, Costa Rica! One of our favorite places to live!

Yielded and Still

I remember the weekend I found this sign.  It snowed  while we were in Ellijay, Georgia and it was beautiful–and I felt like God did it just for ME!

This was back before all the good stores closed–and this picture may have been taken in Blue Ridge, GA, again, before all the good stores closed.  Now it’s new stuff and commercialized.  Few have a walk down memory lane “used-thrift-store-stuff and antiques”.  It’s disappointing to say the least.  But I digress.

When I saw the yield sign, I knew it meant something.  I’ve stopped on the road side before and snapped a picture of a yield sign because someone put a few bullet holes in it.  Holmes County Florida–probably a teenager with not enough to keep him busy at home and no curfew.  (Don’t get me started on that…)

Anyway –yield signs speak to me.  They say stop.  Become aware of where you are and where you’re headed.  Are you going YOUR way -or His way.  (Can we just pause so I can say: Yield. To. His. Plan.)

As we have approached 2022, never imagining in my wildest dreams 20 years ago that we would ever be here, I look back contemplatively at the last several years:  Where did it go and what did I do with the time spent?  Ever wonder that yourself?

I have walked through some places I wouldn’t want to walk again—yet, to hear the voice of God as I have heard Him in the past six years, I would. 

I spent some time the last few days looking backwards through some prayer journals at what God has done in my life—and I am still amazed:  Healed of cancer.  Healed through chemo and radiation, both of which I felt would kill me, yet did not.

I experienced Him healing my raw radiation damaged skin almost overnight and layer it with brand new skin.  The two radiation technicians were so stunned— (they had seen it the day before), that one called the other in to see–and then they called the doctor in to be a witness to the miracle that had begun in 24 short hours.  God can do a LOT in a little time.  Remember what He did in just six days?

I witnessed firsthand how God uses our circumstances to draw us closer to Him, reach others for Him, reveal our shortcomings to us, and bring glory to His name all at the same time.

I wouldn’t have chosen that—but He knew what I would be on the other side of it.  Changed. 

Through various things in my life, from rebellion as a teenager and even as a young adult, to almost losing both my daughters at different times and very different circumstances (April’s car accident and Tiffany, when her little Zackary was born); God has taught me more about submission than I could have imagined.

Submission is hard.  I have watched a young lady I love very much struggle with it, even get angry about it—and I want to hold her close and tell her if she will stop fighting it and lean on God—He will help her.  But this is something, as painful as it will be for her, she will have to learn from Him.  Just like I did.  And she will see her relationship with Him—grow.

I think as long as we live we will keep learning the art of submission.  Jesus displayed this daily.  At the end of His earthly ministry—He prayed, “Not my will but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).  He knew what was about to happen—yet He submitted.

We experience submission in daily living.  Sickness takes a toll and changes the way we operate on a daily basis.  Just look around at what the C* virus has done to our lives and routines.

Before Christmas my dad underwent open heart surgery.  It was either submit to surgery or plan to die.  There was no middle ground and there were no “if-and’s-or but’s”.  Death would come.  Of course, we know that death will still come, should the Lord tarry –but it would come much sooner for him without the surgery.

After the surgery there are still lessons in submission.  The doctor has orders.  Our body dictates what it will and won’t do.  And we submit to the complete painful exhaustion of the process of healingBut healing and strength will come—and much sooner if we submit.

Surrendering to the Holy Spirit is often the same.  I’ve had my own painful times of learning to surrender and submit to Him—and the same results occur.  While the act of surrendering or submitting—both mean to yield, it is not the same as “giving up”.  To give up means to cease making an effort; resign oneself to failure.

As we surrender, we do so with a fortitude (stubbornness) that will carry us through the hardest times.

My mother and I had a conversation one morning recently about the stubborn gene trait in the women of our family.  While we are sometimes tenacious or stubborn it doesn’t mean we don’t surrender at the appropriate time.  We submit to authority—but we can stubbornly push ourselves forward to complete a task when our body feels it has reached its limit.  I believe the stubborn gene trait was an asset to me when I had cancer.

In the new year- I am quite sure we will find places to stubbornly push ourselves forward when we really feel like giving up—and I believe we will also feel the urgency to surrender to the Holy Spirit when He reminds us—we don’t have to do this alone.  He is with us—just as the ministering angel was with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane –so the Holy Spirit is with us.  (Luke 22:43)

Without my biggest surrender in 2009 by getting on my first airplane–I would not be where I am today–with a storehouse of memories, miracles and blessings–more than I ever imagined I would ever see and experience.

My thought line of airplanes was quite ridiculous…”If God wanted me to fly–He would have given me wings”….and….”Oh, I’ll fly one day–when I fly up to Heaven.”  (Sounds just like some little granny would say.  Trouble was–I was saying this in my 20’s!). I was afraid.  Fear kept me on the ground while God wanted me to soar and see new things.

Can I offer a suggestion for your own 2022?  Don’t be afraid.  When something new comes your way–pray about it and then if you feel God directing you toward the “fearful thing”…go after it with gusto!  If it’s beginning your own new business–or going back to school…or stepping out in faith in a ministry you feel called to do…Hold His hand tight and GO FOR IT!

Can we also encourage those around us?

Maybe they struggle with surrender.

Maybe we just need to let them know they aren’t alone?  Or, perhaps they don’t know Jesus—it’s very possible they’ve never encountered a moment to need Him with such urgency as we’ve had in the past years.

No matter what this new year brings, let us look to Him—as we face the year in faith, fully surrender to His guidance…and He will carry us all the way Home.

© Angie Knight.  Copyright 2021. All rights reserved.  A portion used by permission of the author in January 2022 edition of StreetTalk Magazine.


Sons & Daughters, April 15, 2021

To the sons I never gave birth to:

I have been amazingly blessed with two precious and incredible daughters.  I have also been given the opportunity to sow into the lives of many girls over the last 35-40 years.  I’m almost 60.  I’ve accumulated MANY blessings in the form of some other mother’s daughter and now, some sons.   

First, God blessed me with two kind hearted and loving sons-in-law.  This isn’t about them, nor necessarily for them, although, if they are as smart as I think they are, they will pull some nuggets and put them in action.  

What got me thinking in this line of thought are the five most recent young fellows God has blessed my life with in the past three years.  I won’t tag them, nor state their names, they know who they are.  And they know they are precious.  Fellas, Mama Angie is about to give you some “mama advice”.  You all have your own mama—I’m not that.  But I believe in sowing seeds of faith and love wherever God plants you—and I’ve been planted here—and you are there as well, so get settled to listen a few minutes.

You are either just married, about to be married this month, or will next year.  I’ve seen the rings.  “Y’all did good!”  I pray the coming years are even better!

So, let’s talk.  Or, let me.  (If you know me well, you know I will be honest and upfront if asked my opinion—but today I’m giving my unsolicited opinion.)

These are in no particular order of importance except this first one:

  1. Pray for her.  Not just in your own prayer time, but hold her hand or hold her close and pray OVER her.  When I worked in Dothan, Jeff began doing this in the last couple of years that I traveled back and forth, and let me tell you—what a difference it made in my day!  As well as how loved I felt—words can’t express the depth of that feeling-emotion.  Just try it and see what happens.  You will have a happy wife on your hands—and God will bless YOUR OWN life.  You are her prayer covering.  You are the priest of the home.  You don’t have to use fancy words.  It doesn’t even have to be long.  If you feel too shy—do it anyway.  Guys—if you cannot pray over her—stop and rethink this.  This is a must for a blessed and whole marriage.  Oh, you will still have a marriage, it just won’t be as blessed and amazing.  (Girls, this is for you too.)
  2. Find out her love language.  If you’ve never read the book, “The Five Love Languages, by Gary Smalley”, I encourage you to read that.  At least enough to get the gist of it.  Her love language is what makes her “feel” loved.  Guys we may “KNOW” we are loved, but we like to “feel” loved.  That happens with the love tank being filled.  Daily.  I confess, I didn’t read the whole book and what I did read was many years ago, but it stuck.  Find out what her love language is.  It’s a short little quiz you can take online without even buying the book and it will open up your world!  Everyone is different.  My love language is three top contenders:  physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation.  Physical touch doesn’t just mean the bedroom (yes, I said that—you are either married or about to be—figure it out).  Physical touch is holding her hand when you walk sometimes.  It’s your arm around her when you sit close, or rubbing her shoulders—or feet! (If she loves that.)  If you are doing this with sexpectations, you are doing it for the wrong reasons.  And yes, I said that too.   And guys, as you get older, you have to be more intentional.  Life happens and we all get busy—just don’t get too busy to be there for each other—in the small ways as well as the big ways.  If the church service is the only time you are close—go back to number 1.  Pray.  Ask God to remind you of the love you once had.  When you find out what her love language is, not putting it into action is like saying, “I don’t care or it’s not that important to me”—if that’s the case, you are in a mess.  Only God can help you.  (Girls, SAME SAME SAME)
  3. Help each other.  If she needs help with a big job in the house, i.e., moving furniture, help with patience.  If you need help with an outside project, ask for her help.  Chances are she will love that opportunity to spend some extra time with you (but don’t get angry if she’s neck deep in the middle of something and can’t instantly to run help you).  If that’s YOUR love language, make sure she knows that.  She won’t know until you tell her.  I personally love helping Jeff.  We work pretty well together on projects—he knows my physical limitations—and while there was that one-time helping sheetrock I cried, it hasn’t been often—it’s a true joy to work side-by-side. (We grew that day.). Going through struggles is going to happen.  Go together.  Don’t struggle alone.  The devil gets in when you try to go through things alone and he plants crappola in your mind and her mind all day long—we each have the ability to help one another and make it stop.  
  4. Be a good forgiver.  My mother had Jeff and I sit down and read 1 Corinthians 13 together the day we married.  We have both had to put it into practice many times in the last almost 39 years.  And we have both fumbled at it at times—but we keep at it.  This translation and I like the way it reads, 1-8:  

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.  If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 

  1. Don’t spend more than an agreed upon amount without discussing it.  That means, don’t go out and buy a boat without sitting down and seeing what’s coming up, where you are financially and can you afford this…. And girls, same goes for you.  When I find something I think I just have to have, I will send Jeff a message or call if it happens to be over the agreed amount.  This is just good common sense.  
  2. Keep a little cash stash for emergencies, i.e., a special date night to a really nice place rather than just same-old-same-old.  Plan ahead for vacations by saving and sticking it back.  Makes vacation more enjoyable when you know it’s already funded.  There were many years we never took one—it wasn’t in the budget.  I didn’t pout—we did something else together.  (Even if I pouted initially, I got over it really quick.). Goes without saying, girls SAME.
  3. DO NOT YELL.  Ever.  If you feel the blood boiling, go wash the car or truck, cut grass, chop wood, or something constructive.  Calm down.  Talk about it before the week is out.  Sometimes it takes a few days.  Just don’t let it fester and become infected.  Get it out and get rid of it.  The devil loves it when we hang on to hurt.  We have all been guilty of that.  Girls SAME.  If you yell, I will be very disappointed.
  4. Give her the attention she needs.  Girls, same.  Give him the attention he needs.  It’s biblical.  Don’t make either one a beggar.  Not only is that wrong biblically, it also lets them know—your needs don’t really matter to me.  If there’s too much going on in your life and your mind can’t stop—work on that.  Spontaneity is great—but planning is better.  Planning shows you really care about the other person’s needs.  I remember one time I was working two jobs and one was at the law office all day and the part-time one was at the mall in a small dress shop.  Jeff knew I was exhausted.  I was helping out a friend who was on maternity leave.  I always called him to let him know I was leaving Dothan.  He timed it just right and had me a hot bubble bath ready when I got home.  Yes, I cried.  Guys, pay attention to what she needs.  There may be times she can’t put it into words…learn to read her heart.
  5. When children come along—remember the little lady was here first.  Love her big.  Girls, SAME THING.  If you have to “make a date night”, do it.  There is a grandma who would LOVE to watch that little baby for a few hours while you have a special date.   If you live away from parents and grandparents, find a responsible young lady or couple at church and ask them—whether you can even leave the house for a date or not, make it special.  Intentionality speaks VOLUMES.  Those little babies do go to sleep sometimes….don’t worry about the house—it will be there.  Give one another some real listening time.  If she needs to talk—listen.  What she really might need is for YOU to talk.  Girls, SAME.  (Listening to Jeff is in my top five favorite things.  He doesn’t talk a lot—so when he does, I pay attention.)
  6. Be a saver more than a spender.  This also speaks volumes.  It means you are looking to the future and not just living for the present.  
  7. If a particular task makes her just nuts, help her with it.  (Tax time is a good time.). Girls, SAME.  
  8. TELL her each day something you like or love about her.  Whether it’s her hairdo, her eyes, her outfit, her nail polish or the way she loves you…make it personal.  Not about what she cooked the day before.  She needs this.  I heard an older preacher say once, “son, if you don’t tell her, someone at that office will”.  BIG side note: Girls, SAME.  Tell HIM what thrills you about him.  I love telling Jeff this—because number 1, it’s true.  He’s the most amazing and handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and 2, he’s mine.  I want to take good care of him.  Because he’s mine.  
  9. KISS.  KISS.  KISS.  I laughed when I typed that because that’s something we ALL need.   If she’s a kisser –KISS HER.  Girls, SAME.
  10. Don’t go to bed angry.  I’ve done this.  I’m sure in the almost 39 years we’ve been married Jeff has too.  BUT if you do, pray until you aren’t angry any more.  Praying for her will remove the anger and help you love her through whatever made you angry.
  11. Send her sweet texts in the day, write her sweet notes (I love a handwritten note).  Generally, Jeff and I do cards rather than gifts at birthdays/anniversaries/valentines etc.  Sometimes there’s a gift—but there is almost always a card.  Make it one that says your feelings if you have a problem writing yours out.  I’m a writer—so I have no problem with writing.  If you are NOT a writer, do it sometimes anyway.  I treasure each one Jeff has written.
  12. Go the extra mile.  Sometimes it may seem you are the only one going the extra mile—(girls don’t let that happen). Don’t carry resentment with you.  Go with love for her.
  13. Holidays are generally times we have to do more than we physically feel like doing—don’t fuss about going to her family’s house for a meal.  Girls, SAME. 
  14. If you get mad with her about something….for Pete’s sake, DON’T go tell your mama.  Don’t tell anyone but God.  Unless you need a counselor.  GIRLS, SAME SAME SAME.
  15. If she handles all the household chores, tell her THANK YOU.  If you share in those chores, great.  That doesn’t always happen.  Side-note to girls:  if he takes care of the maintenance on your vehicle –tell him THANK YOU!    Find lots of things to thank the other one for.  A thankful heart is a happy heart.  And lastly,
  16. Go back to number one.  Pray for each other.  Prayer is the glue that will keep your marriage together in the hardest of times.

I’ve written a ton.  More than I planned—but it just kept coming out… so maybe you needed reminding of what she needs.  It’s not all about you.  Girls, SAME.  


Focusing Forward

“…I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”   Philippians 3:13(b)-14 NLT (Emphasis mine)

holy bible, new living translation

I’ve heard this passage many times, read it many times—but in my desperation to leave 2020 and enter 2021, I felt the necessity of this verse in order to experience what God has “next” for me.  

And here we are now saddled up on February.  We have no clue yet the ride in store.  We never dreamed the last 14 months or so would have been what they were; yet we held on.  The ride rough, the waves high, the race uphill, but here we are. 

I’m not ignoring the present or the past to leap to the future…they each have a purpose which shapes and molds us—but we need to guard how that shaping takes place.

  • Have you ever experienced something so heart rending that unintentionally you held on to parts of it—sort of as a reminder?  That maybe if you weren’t careful, it would happen again?  Or suffered such a loss that you clung to everything that it represented in your life—the good and the bad?

The Holy Spirit reminded me that while hardships are bound to happen to us as we continue in this life—because it is a fallen world, we have a hope in Christ.   However, what we do with those hardships is key to our growth, or the stunting of our growth.

  • Have you ever seen a tree that was crooked or bent in such a way that it just doesn’t stand as tall as those around it?  Something happened to that tree in the growing cycle.  Just as hurricanes and tornadoes come through and twist, rip, snap and uproot trees, it can absolutely stunt the growth of the baby trees. 

That happens to people too.  A life storm shakes us at the roots and we become stunted in growth—spiritually, and sometimes even physically.  Sometimes we “feed” our pain by focusing on that and nothing else and everything else around us seems to fade from our vision.  We cannot see beyond the current pain or grief.  

I’ve observed a line of trees recently that look healthy as far as the new leaves coming on, with one exception:  they all lean hard to one side.  And they will grow that way unless someone comes along and pulls them back—their roots need to be adjusted.  They need to be propped up.  The need supporting.  I’ve seen this on roadsides, as new, developed trees have been planted.  They tie a padded rope around heavier, lower limbs and drive stakes into the ground to give them added stability on all sides until the roots begin to sink down into the ground where they are planted.

Just as the trees need help to grow upright again, so do the hearts and lives of those around us; those whose lives seem shipwrecked by their circumstances.  No matter what type of loss it is—loss of any type can cripple a heart and life—or stunt the growth of the individual.  Especially if all we can see is the loss.  That’s not healthy.  Closing our lives off to living, not just existing, is like the wind that twists the trees.  

Everyone handles hardship and grief differently.  Sometimes we just want to escape—run away—or hibernate.  (See my hand up?  I’ve felt that way myself.)

Like so many others, I draw my strength from the Word of God, through prayer and time with the LORD, and from the prayers and encouragement of others.  We all can be “encouragers”.  One who helps stabilize the root system of our windswept sisters and brothers.  

“…strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees.  Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies.  He is coming to save you.”  Isaiah 35:3-4

Holy Bible, New Living Translation

There are countless people in this world who have no clue of the Resource of strength that we have.  The nearest need may even be your neighbor.  They go through life and the hardships hit, or the life altering circumstances yank them up by the roots and they often wither and die—right in our midst.  They ache to know the One who can help—maybe they don’t realize the emptiness in their lives well enough to put a name on it—but friend, there’s a mission field of hurting people in our midst if we would take the time to look around.

As I’ve wrestled with the thought that I might not get to return to Bolivia due to unrest, covid-19 and political changes, my heart has been grieved.  I see pictures in my phone or on blogs I wrote in the past years and my eyes fill with tears and my chest tightens up with grief.  I could allow that emotion-or feeling to stay; to take root and even stunt my growth or blind my eyes to what God has AHEAD and totally miss my next assignment…or, I can release it and let God direct me forward. 

However, today as I encourage myself, I want to do the same to you, let your eyes go back to the top and re-read this part of that verse. “…. looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”   

To look forward…we must face forward. That’s where He is calling us—from the past, to the future.  

With that being said, There is something I’ve been working on a little bit…very little because of my lack of skills in this particular area–and my lack of free time. (I feel guilty to sit down and write because it takes SO much time –and there’s so much regular life stuff that also vies for my attention.)

BUT. As God leads, I’m partnering up with two amazing young mothers and I cannot wait to share what God is doing in all our lives! 🙂 More on that later –just come on back now, ya hear?

©  Angie Knight 2021.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission. (Also shared in February 2021 StreetTalk.)


Happy New Year? Welcome 2021

The trees are down.  Decorations put away.  Almost.  There is one little tree left in the guest room because I have a plan for that one. (Rambling thoughts for my first blog of 2021.)

I bought three trees in October of 2018 and they fit perfectly in different areas of the little cabin we lived in, graciously provided by dear friends of ours.  It was cozy and warm and felt homey from the first time we walked in.  I needed the twinkling light from those trees in my home to soothe my aching heart over the enormous turmoil my heart, mind and emotions were in—not to mention the physical problems that had arose as a result of the chemo and radiation before we left for Bolivia.  But we won’t go into that today.

We are now in our third house since moving back home, but we are back in the house we lived in before we left. The house where the dreams were dreamed and plans made–and faith grew. Even though this house is much smaller than either of the other two we lived in since being back, I was determined to put the three trees back up.  As I half dragged the big box for the 7 foot tree to the back porch and exclaimed loud enough for Jeff to hear as he was walking to the house, “I’m not putting up any trees next year”.  I was pooped.  His reply to remind me that I “would change my mind” was 99% truth.  I’m holding out 1% in case I don’t.

Nearly every year I find one left over and misplaced decoration that got left out of the Christmas storage boxes…and I have to remember to tuck it away some place safe so I can find it in 11 months.  Or 10. Depending on how 2021 goes.  I joined the ranks of thousands of women all over the nation who doggedly pulled the trees out at the end of October and first sign of November to bring a little joy to this crazed world.  

After most all the decorations had been packed up and the big tree, standing naked in the living room I grabbed the top to jerk it off the main trunk and my hand felt the ornament.  The last one.  The one on the back side that I never saw.  Oh, I decorate the back too, even though you don’t see it. For balance sake you have to even out the whole tree, otherwise you will come in and find it on the floor (as I saw a few pictures of on Instagram).

When I pulled the little ornament free from the branch, I realized it belonged in the very bottom box of the heavy stack of five and I wasn’t about to unload and search out it’s nesting place.  I wrapped it in tissue and tucked it inside a little box and shoved it down into a secure place in the top box.  It was a tiny snowman.  I have a thing for snowmen.  I guess because I live in Florida and it rarely ever snows.  Like maybe once every 10 or 12 years.  So instead of living in snowy areas, I have a few little snowmen who hang on the fake snow-covered branches of my Christmas tree.  

As I sat there exhausted from the clean-up, I wondered what in the world is all the fuss about.  Why did I continue to make things difficult for myself?

I realized I do that so often in day-to-day life as well.  

As 2021 was approaching I realized it was high time I made some serious changes.  For myself.  

In the dismantling of the Christmas decorations, I thought about all the unnecessary things we (I) have layered into my life.  Stacked it right on top of each other -and I have felt like there were times either it, or I would topple.  Only I can fix this.

Coming back home after living in a foreign third-world country I realized I lived without a lot of things that I now have [again] in my home or on my shelves.  

Santa Cruz, Bolivia, March 2018

I had no dryer.  I hung up all our clothes and ironed every single thing we wore.  Now, I have a dryer—and I still iron.  But that’s a choice. 

I had no dishwasher to make life easier.  I washed every single dish and dried it and put it away.  Today, I have a dishwasher.  It does everything BUT put them away.  And I’m tons more exhausted now with all the extra helpers of appliances than I was then.  So, what’s the deal?  

Personally, I think it’s the race we’re in.  It’s kind of invisible, but it’s there nonetheless.  The minute my feet hit the floor it begins.  We accomplish no more than if we stopped and took a breath and paused and drank a cup of coffee with a friend.

I love the one-on-one talks with friends. Covid has sort of taken away the privilege of that necessary cup of coffee with a friend…unless you Zoom it in…and that’s just not the same. So we have all hibernated away in a sense. At least parts of us–we tucked away because we couldn’t do the things we were accustomed to doing the way we were accustomed to doing them.

Yesterday, January 1, 2021 I experienced my FIRST grocery pick-up. I can truthfully say that I would be fine to not darken the doors of Walmart again–this was so NICE! It saved me from unnecessary purchases and it saved me about an hour out of my day….not to mention the exhaustion accompanied by the grocery shopping. SO, THIS was one new change brought about by Covid that I actually LIKE!

It might have been difficult for you to walk into this new year using the words, “Happy”. You may have lost the dearest person to you in 2020–so you are likely super skeptical about 2021. I would be too. I felt that way about 2019. Physically I was in such a mess from the damaged thyroid from cancer treatments that showed up in life altering ways–that I didn’t feel happy…about much of anything.

I had painted our mission field experience in bright colors and expected things to turn out the way I had envisioned…. On this side of it, I remind myself that our lives are designed by the Master Creator. And even though there were so many things that were unexpected…. I believe He was glorified by our faith and trust in Him to fulfill the dreams He had placed inside our hearts—even though things had changed. Tucked inside the harder days, there were many happy ones. Time spent with our friends–happy times. Monday night ladies Bible Study–even though I had to work hard to understand what was said, happy times. Walking the streets of Bolivia holding the hand of my sweet love (and Costa Rica), happy times. Baking cookies or creating a new dish for Jeff, happy times. The list goes on.

The discovery that my “happy” times were times spent with those I love, or doing something for them let me see that my times of discouragement came from within my mind–where the enemy stalks and throws out reminders of what was missing from my life. And even though it was so painful–these two years later, I finally see that I am the only one who can decide who the winner is.

If our happiness is dependent on our circumstances–I guess we could all find places to sit down in the mud of life and quit.

Our true “happy new year” will come from the LORD. Even this morning–in the wee hours when I was half asleep/half awake–the enemy tossed a few reminders into my head about the missing pieces that once brought joy. As I thought about them, I soon realized what his plan was; for me to enter 2021 with sadness and more depression. But I cannot allow that any longer.

My joy comes from the LORD. He is my rock and my salvation. I must make every effort to be conscious of the tactics of the enemy–staying aware. Staying armed with the Word of God will defeat the enemy EVERY TIME. I may not jump up from here this morning dancing with glee….but I will get up with the strength which comes from my Father. I will rejoice and be GLAD of heart for ALL that He has brought me through.

And, since I’m still breathing…and apparently you are too, HE has something yet for us to do. As I make conscious efforts to keep in step with Him, guarding my heart and thoughts, I pray for you, that YOU are able to see Him standing beside you, hand extended. Ready to hold you when you need holding, lead you along the way, and guide the direction of the path you should take in 2021.

I believe with ALL my heart, Jesus is coming soon. Use what He has given you. And, have a HAPPY, confident in Him, Jesus filled New Year!

© Angie Knight 2021.  All rights reserved.  

*blog changes coming soon*


Why Are YOU Here? (by Jeff)

“Why are you here?”  I preached this sermon on a Sunday morning at our home church just a bit ago and when I arrived in Bolivia this past weekend, I was honored to be able to preach in two services and I referred to this question in both of them.  

Today, the LORD asked me“Why are YOU here?”

I arrived in Santa Cruz on Saturday night and haven’t slowed down since I’ve been here.

My dear friend, Pastor Joel and I have been fast paced, trying to get everything accomplished that needed doing for this year.  All the preparations for what our teams will do when we arrive in the coming months.

Today began like all the rest, wide open, and hot, hot temps.  We arrived at one of the schools that Focus Forward Ministries have in the past years, helped with several projects—and some of you have been a vital part of that, through your giving to help us build bathrooms and purchase playground equipment to ministering to the kids in crusades in so many times.  

The principal, who has become a good friend to our team, had prepared us a good breakfast when we arrived. After enjoying the breakfast, I began questioning the principal to catch up on what’s been going on.  School begins here next Monday, February 3rd, and I asked her what the school, the teachers or students might need.  One big thing I really wanted to know was, “How are the kids on school supplies”.  “What can we do to help the kids get started off right this school year?”

She replied to me that there would be 33 kids show up on Monday with no supplies.  Nothing in their hands, no uniforms, no books, not even a pencil.  That’s when the tears began flowing from my eyes.  

Thinking of all these kids who didn’t have anything.  As she was talking about the needs of these 33 kids, something came over me and I just had to assure her that these 33 kids would have what they needed before school began on Monday. 

 I don’t normally make any decision without first talking it over with Angie, Chase, Shelly, Floyd and Sandi, our Focus Forward Team.  But once she began telling me about this situation, those words came rushing back to my mind, “Why are YOU here?”  

As those four words made themselves at home in my mind, I knew I had to decide right then.  I asked her to meet us at the school supply store first thing in the morning.  Our friend, Geraldo, owns this store and always gives us a good discount.  (That’s why we asked for donation of money this year—it’s so less expensive to buy supplies here.)   

As we began to talk more, I asked if there was anything else that was needed.  She began to share with me the needs of two of the kids in this particular school.   There are sensitive details I am not at liberty to share on social media, but I will share it when I get home with our prayer partners.  But to get to the bottom line of these two children, we need to help them get back in school.  They had to drop out this past year.  The principal had been searching everywhere for answers on how to get these kids back in school.  As soon as she said that she couldn’t find a way, those four words came to me again, “Why are YOU here?”

This IS why we are here.  This is why we came.  

The LORD has blessed us insurmountably- to be able to bless these. Maybe we don’t always have cash on hand, but we always have prayer partners who will pray, and we serve a GOD who always supplies. 

Again, twice in one day, I made a decision without consulting with our Focus Forward Ministry Team. On faith, I committed us to support these two children, age 10 and 12, in school for this year.  Angie and I have had plenty of experience as God’s children, that when we ask believing, He supplies.  He does not withhold any good thing from His own.

  • Here’s what I know God will supply:  
  • the finances to keep these two in school;
  • funds for uniforms;
  • books; and
  • necessary supplies.

Even if I have to give up a few meals a week, or some of the conveniences that I have; even if I have to sell some of my prized possessions, whatever I need to do, the educational needs of these two will be met.  

I talked to a pastor yesterday, he shared that his wife became sick and had to be hospitalized and he didn’t have the money to pay the hospital.  He had to sell his car to pay the hospital bill and now he walks everywhere he goes.  So you see, when it comes to someone we love, we will do whatever it takes—and the LORD has put such a love in our hearts for these kids in Bolivia—and we will do whatever it takes, for we know, without doubt, our God will provide a way.

Some of our local church members may remember when I preached a message a few Wednesday nights back, I made the statement  “the people who work in the prisons really had my admiration”—and then I said, “that was one thing I didn’t want to ever do”—and then, “Lord I don’t want to do it, but if you say, if you open the door, then I will.”  Well, you guessed it.  The LORD opened the door today.

In our meeting today with the principal at Freedom School, he asked the question, “when your team comes back, would you like to go into the prison and minister to the kids there?”  He said the door had been opened to him to go in and minister to about 50 kids ranging in age from three to five who cannot come out to attend school, and he wanted to know if we would want to go with him.  And again, those four words rang in my mind again, “Why are YOU here”?

I think the best answer I have to that is “because I prayed: Lord here am I, send me”.

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And to top the day off, meet Dana (pronounced, Donna), age 12, her goal is to be a missionary—and hey, get this; to the USA.  You know I already feel a burden for Angie and myself to help make this happen.  After all the heartbreaking news of the morning, to hear this statement brought the tears once again, but this time, they were tears of joy.

We are incredibly grateful for each one of our supporters–those who have chosen to sponsor the school supply projects in Bolivia or to help keep a child in school. Your impact in these lives will be a ripple effect in the lives beyond the borders of all our lives. Thank you.


Seeking the Will of God

I wrote this in 2020. January to be specific. It didn’t get posted because I was so sick. (Might have been the earlier C-virus)

As I looked back at drafts that didn’t make it to the home page this one stuck out. I want to pray effective prayers. I want to SEE God move on behalf of Believers everywhere. I want to HEAR the testimonies ringing out louder than what the news and social media’s have thrust from the gates. I want His TRUTH to come out of our lives and mouths. If you’ve got just a little minute, the 2020 devotion is below.

“ I wanted to write yesterday. I wanted to start the New Year off with words. But, I remained silent most all day- sick with fever and body aches. Wrapped up with the thickest blanket we have, sweat pants, t-shirt, socks and thick hoodie. If you know me at all— and the major hot flashes I have- you know I was indeed sick to have all this on me and around me all day. Fever finally broke last night- thank YOU Jesus!

Bolivia, Freedom School, 2019

The Lord did some amazing things in 2019. 2018-2019 were two of the hardest years for me.

Health issues escalated to a point I had to leave the mission field way early. I realize now that I have to change some of my ideas of what ministry will look like for me/us. What I thought we would be doing for the rest of our lives is not exactly all God had planned. There’s more.

Bolivia, Santa Julia School, 2019

It’s way more than I/we ever imagined. There’s always been some secret dreams of ours- one we’ve only talked about a scant number of times. But never with anyone outside of ourselves. We hold this one close. We are waiting on God. We’ve learned over the last several years— more than ever— His ways and thoughts are so far beyond our own, as we have been continually seeking the plan of God.

I want to share a little portion from a YouVersion devotion by Charles Stanley, “The Will of God”.


“As you journey forward, seeking assurance of His will for you, ask yourself the following questions carefully and prayerfully:

  • Is it consistent with the Word of God?
  • Is this a wise decision?
  • Can I honestly ask God to enable me to achieve this goal?
  • Do I have genuine peace about this path?
  • Is this decision appropriate for who I am as a follower of Christ?
  • Does this fit God’s overall plan for my life?
  • Will this decision honor God?

When you can say “yes” to these seven questions, you’ll know you’ve confirmed God’s will.”


As I have watched 2020 inch closer to us, I have been going back through some of my old prayer journals. All the way back to 2009. And in this span of time— I can see how God has orchestrated certain people in and out of our lives. I saw how His hand has guided our lives- and even our desires for more of Him. I saw how I grew. In the hardest of times.

I saw how prayers prayed have been answered. And, I see where I have prayed the same prayer for years—yet I have hope. Because- I end each prayer reminding God— it doesn’t matter what I want— “Father, You know what is best, what might become a stumbling block, and what keeps me close to You. Your will be done”.

It’s been in those hours of prayer that I have seen God work and change me. He’s still working.

From “God Calling”

It’s now 2020. I didn’t get to share this as it dawned a new decade. But it’s still early in the year. And God is doing some amazing things. I feel in my heart and spirit that the “more of HIM” we have sought is here. 2020. And today, I pray it with more urgency than ever— because we still have an assignment here— and there— whenever “there” might be.

Bolivia is still important— but there are so many other things I want to see God do. I may not get to do all the things I wanted. I may get to do MORE.

I prayed for HIS plan. And He has many other people in line to be part of this. They just may not know what they’re in line for yet. They may be like I am— in line, ready to do what He asks. No matter what- where- or when.

Road to the “Yet Unknown”

As 2020 dawned, I pictured God standing up, rubbing His holy hands together, gleam in His eyes, saying, “Okay y’all, get ready. This next segment is bringing all My children home.” (Yep, I just gave God a southern accent.)

What’s it going to look like? And how long is this segment going to last? Who knows. Only God. But we are set and ready to finish up what He began in us. The work He has called us to; leading more to know Him- the call to shine His light into the forgotten lives. The call to GO wherever He leads. The call to BE whatever He has lined up to fulfill His purpose. The call to DO whatever He desires and had planned since before we drew a breath.

“For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the LORD, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on Me and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear [your voice] and I will listen to you. Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-13‬ ‭AMP‬‬

https://www.bible.com/1588/jer.29.11-13.amp

Are your prayers changing for 2020? Are they more about Him and less about your wants? Do your prayers involve the word, “Yes”?

I want to leave you with one last quote from the devotion:


“And finally, always be willing to do whatever your heavenly Father says—no matter how big or small, practical or unreasonable, easy or difficult, popular or unpopular, rewarding or costly.

Always say yes to Him.

Even when you don’t want to, are afraid, don’t understand His direction, or when it’s painful—remember that Jesus is the One who saves you, forgives your sins, sanctifies you, provides for you, protects you, gives you a home in heaven with Him, and loves you unconditionally and eternally.”


I can guarantee there will be those who don’t “get it”— but trust the voice of God over the voices of doubt. He never fails.

And wherever He calls you- leads you— He will continue to guide and provide.

This year?… it just might stretch you.

Are you willing?

-First Mission Team we led with Mike Baldree, 2011-
– Mission Team 2019 –

God is faithful.

“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭AMP‬‬


https://www.bible.com/1588/rom.8.28.amp

© Angie Knight 2020. All rights reserved.

Quotes taken from YouVersion Bible App devotion by Charles Stanley, “The Will of God”, and Amplified version of the Bible.


Long Time- No See

Before you begin reading this— you need to know up front that God has been seriously dealing with ME on an extremely personal- unvarnished level. Blinders off.

This isn’t necessarily a ministry update as much as it is a personal update. We are STILL called to make an impact through missions in Bolivia and other countries (Bolivia is just so dear to our hearts). As a matter of fact, God is showing us new ways we can do that and we plan to implement them and talk about them again soon. He has also been showing us new fields that He’s calling us to. It’s mind blowing. We wait on Him.

I want to share with you a small portion from my YouVersion devotional today, “Praying for the Impossible”:

“One hundred twenty people in the early church were able to change the world through the gospel because they were empowered by God’s Spirit. Today we have 120 churches in close proximity in one community, and we can’t make an impact! Why? Because too many of us are like the dead man’s bones in the valley—lacking strength, influence, and life.

“You see, at some point there has to be an honest evaluation of the heart. We can’t be afraid of that. It needs to be the cry of your heart, my heart, and every Christian’s heart.” (End of devotion portion)

What a thought. What a reminder. The LORD GOD of Heaven wants to use YOU and me to make an impact and difference in this world. He wants YOU and me to be His world 🌎 changers. We can’t do that- or anything else successfully if we continue being satisfied with where we are in Christ. We are none where He wants us to be— there’s always—always room for growth.

He wants us EMPOWERED with the Holy Spirit— full of faith and believing – whether we see change or not— BELIEVING for impossible things to be possible through Him.

He wants our minds off of ourselves and onto the lost world 🌍 🌎 We cannot have that upper room empowering experience if we can’t get and keep our focus on Him.

We are often so full of ourselves. I see people constantly taking selfies in bathroom mirrors- etc. Why? Good grief Charlie Brown. Where did we make such a turn?

I’m laying myself before the LORD and asking Him, PLEASE show me YOU. Where YOU want me to recognize what I need to change. I submit. Daily. Sometimes it takes that daily surrender to get it to stick. Some of us are hard headed. (Me included)

We can’t be world 🌎 changers focused on us. Our line of sight must widen to include those around us, those in other cities and states and other countries.

Some won’t like this— but the only reason we need to be standing in front of the mirror (besides checking to make sure we have cleaned up right- the hairdo right and clothes on right- before we leave the house) is to see what needs changing. Facing the truth about how far we’ve wandered from His path. Not showing the world our puckered duck lips face (craziest thing ever).

Sometimes we (me especially) don’t want to say the truth out loud because we don’t want to offend…. I would rather take a chance on offending you here than watch you continue to slip further and further from the Truth you know, but allowed the devil to keep it tucked in the back of your closet like it’s not as important as it used to be. Trust me; it still is important.

God’s command: Love Him, love others. If we are loving Him and those around us… I know without doubt, we will spend less time in front of the mirror— unless it’s to truly evaluate the truth we see there.

God is ready to help each of us reach that place of empowerment. A Holy Ghost filled anointed powerhouse for Him. Not satisfied to let others do what He’s called the church to do…. what He’s called you and I to do….

Let us reevaluate our hearts. It’s a painful process— I kid you not. I’ve been sitting on the potters wheel for quite a while now. I don’t want a scrap of me left that is a hindrance to what He wants for my life. (Gulp)

I’ve got some other things to tell you soon…. but again, waiting on God. I won’t budge a toe in a direction that is not led fully by Him.

Pray for those around you… and please, please, please, pray for Bolivia.


A Continual Faith

One morning a several years ago, as I drove to work, the fog was so thick….you’ve heard the term “thick as pea soup?”—this was thicker. But as I cautiously drove, these thoughts came pouring in my heart. And believe it or not– I grabbed a pen and wrote scribbled them down.

Faith in the Fog

When you can’t see where you’re going,

You don’t know what’s ahead,

You put your hands out to touch-

And suddenly you dread.

At first sight you wondered why,

And other questions pile right on.

The answer’s always fleeting,

and you never feel at home.

But You keep going.

With arms reaching out,

To what you know in your heart, there’s no room for doubt.

His heart He will reveal- maybe not today,

but rest assured you will see it- all along the way.

© Angie Knight

Jeremiah 29:12-13 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Circumstances happen daily that test our faith. And as long as we are alive -it will continue to do so.

I’ve been in the “testing place” before. So have you. But if you haven’t yet– hang on child– the Teacher always has a test- and sometimes before all the material has been covered.

Sometimes it feels like a pop-quiz. And I’m totally unprepared.

But what I’ve learned is -He always supplies a Helper.

For. Each. Test.

Yesterday marked a reason for celebration as I had my follow up yearly mammogram after having been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in August of 2016.

I’ve never loved the word “normal” as much as I did yesterday when it came through a text message from the hospital barely an hour later. I rapidly sent out the same message to my sweet Jeff and my girls. They rapidly replied with “praise God!”

This time three years ago, I had begun chemo and Jeff had cut my hair down shorter than his, because it began coming out in small clumps and I didn’t want to wake up one morning with half of it on my pillow.

Enter: Insecurity at it’s highest.

When that diagnosis came it was unexpected. A fog around our lives seemed to kind of settle.

What we thought was God’s plan–seemed to be slipping a bit from our fingers. We thought.

We had a timeline and manner in which we thought things would be done in– an orderly fashion. You know– like you’re told to exit a burning building in an orderly fashion.

We thought, as we were working on becoming debt free, that we could do what needed to be done – because of course God had set this in motion by planting this desire firmly in our hearts… so what could possibly go wrong– right?

At times like this– when WE think we know what we’re doing and it even seems doable— God shakes things up with a few impossibilities– I think, just to see if we will stay the course or abandon ship. When the impossibilities of the financial issues (SUPER THICK FOG) that arose with all this– it would look virtually IMPOSSIBLE. But again– God had a plan.

We thought — when we heard the news of “cancer” that the fog was too thick now to continue. But… we needed to only remember that the One who called us had HIS timeline that was different than ours….

We took our concerns to the LORD and He assured us the plan had not changed. We would follow His direction without hesitation.

We proceeded.

Toward the end of my chemotherapy treatments– A new challenge presented itself. I realized my port would have to be flushed every few weeks.

  • As MUCH as I hate needles– and cringe at the thought of this– I sucked it in and we trained (we as in Jeff) to be able to handle the flushing of my chemo port while in Costa Rica. We (he) practiced stabbing me in the chest with the long needle, and we (totally me), practiced not panicking and not crying (too much) over all this trauma.
  • That smile on my face was as pasted on as I could manage. No joke. These were some scary days for me. Battles at night in my mind- as the devil continued to taunt me… and every day I welded my sword as I wrote and prayed and read scripture. Every. Single. Day. And I still do. Because the devil still fights.
  • I never realized how much I dreaded the tests and results until it was over yesterday and I felt like I had just had the vice grip released from my heart and mind. I felt free.

    We STILL believe God is unfolding new things for us each day.

    We still believe we walked in His perfect timing in leaving for the field one short week after the final radiation treatment. We may not understand why it all happened like it did– but we believe He planned it all and allowed the things that did because it would eventually work for our good and His glory. Somehow. This is firm in my heart.

    This is the part that’s not foggy. This is clear.

    Once again we are following His steps without knowing exactly what He’s doing. We feel an anticipation in the air and our hearts– and we know Focus Forward Ministries has some big dreams yet to dream… and we are willing and ready.

    We are grateful for every prayer partner and supporter– please keep praying. Keep believing IN MORE.

    I see the fog lifting….

    © 2019 Angie Knight. All rights reserved.