Category Archives: Borrowed Blessings

Preparing for February

In the coming days and weeks, I may disappear for a day or two. Don’t be alarmed. I am preparing for February. I’m not setting myself up for more grieving, rather for being thankful for all that God has shown me through the past year. Actually, for the past several years.

Our life journey took a rather sharp curve last February. The vehicle of our lives tipped and is still righting itself. But God still drives. Last January, I shared a bit about the difficulty my sister, Wanda, was having before she left this life for her eternal life in heaven on February 12.

I posted a bit more during our struggle with what was going on…and many of you prayed for us and with us during those hard days of life. We learned that “praising Him in the storm” was indeed, the hardest walk of our faith yet. But praise Him is what we did. For we trusted in Him alone. Wanda had already outlived all the expectations by all of her doctors by about 24 years! What faith she had!

Then during that time, Aimee and I started the Sisters of Faith site. We were blessed this past year by several sweet sisters in Christ that joined us in an incredible Bible Study called, 90 Days with Jesus the One and Only! I have felt the sweetness of the Holy Spirit in my own life and seen what He can do when I give Him full access and total control. Too often I try and control things…but I am learning…

For the past few weeks, my heart and mind has traveled back to last year. I don’t want you to feel obligated to click on each link and read it, but if you are new to my blog, then you might want to know a bit more about this journey of Trust that we have walked. Wanda had an extreme trust in God. Incredible faith. Strong heart.

So, sisters, if I can impose upon you to endure a few entries about our last few days with Wanda, and then the days that followed her home going, I will share with each of you what inspires me to keep on going —sharing—telling—writing. For HIM.

We begin tomorrow.

Guess Who I get to Meet? In real life!

This weekend is full to the brim of busyness! AND I mean busy! I have a list a mile long! (Just ask Jeff!)

We have both fought a bit of sickness with this “peanut pickin'” season with our sinuses—-aaarggg!

Tomorrow—we are having a supper here for some family—-and then on Sunday I get to meet TechnoNana in REAL LIFE!

Oh, by the way…you wanna know what time it is??? 2:52 a.m. Yup. See…what happened was, I drank one of those ‘coffee’ drinks before I left work this afternoon….to sort of pep me up…and well, yes. You see they really work!

I worked HARD the entire time before bath and bedtime. Ironing, vacuuming, sweeping, re-arranging….etc. Then when I went to bed, I was exhausted…and slept hard for about 2 hours. Rylan (oldest grandson) came to our room at exactly 12:57 and said he couldn’t breath. Stuffy nose. So he laid down with us. I listened to him “snort” for about a minute and got a kleenex to blow his nose. And you know moms and nanas…something didn’t feel right.

I got him to come to the bathroom and we walked in and squeezed our eyes at the bright light. I was going to wash his little face and all the —okay—this is gross…so go ahead and skip down to the end if you’re squeemish—but the word is “snot”. But it wasn’t snot. His little nose had started bleeding and he had a ruined night shirt and I had some ruined sheets and pillowcases.

So I clean him up. Change his clothes and put him in bed with Papa. With a towel under his head. I tried explaining to him, hold your head back…keep this cold wet cloth on your nose…but….uummm—you have to know Rylan. Anyway, I get them settled and then change the other sheets and pillowcases and crawl in his bed.

But—sleep just ain’t my friend. Ever have those nights? Or mornings? I lay there and think of all the stuff I have to do EARLY Saturday morning. I can’t start now…the noise of such would wake poor tired Papa. So….I after tossing—and turning….I decided to check e-mails.

So here I sit. Just giving you a brief peek and update on life at the Knight house. Such as it is.

I have a special sweet dear sister friend who is doing some awesome things for me. I will post that SOON. She has been at work creating me some ‘chair covers’ tonight. She spent Friday night last weekend with us and we sewed curtains all day Saturday. She has been fluffing my heart and life with surprises from some fabric I purchased the past 2+ years! I will post that as SOON as we are done! She is none other than Vivienne!

Okay…we will see if we can get back to bed now! Oh, the picture? Rylan and Papa last Sunday before church. Ain’t they the cutest?

Oh…sorry. There was nothing whatsoever spiritual about this post. Well…if you find something…be sure and let me know. Love you all!

Thankful Thursday

These are just 3 of the blessings in my life that I am thankful for….don’t be fooled by the “frownie face” of Jason…he was showing me his “mean face”. Cy is all grins…and little Jake…he is all yawns…SWEET BLESSINGS! Visit Iris…for more thankful hearts!

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A Day Hemmed in Prayer is Less Likely to….

Unravel. Ever have one of those days? Where they seem to unravel before your very eyes? I have had several. Lately. All at once.

Where do I run?

To the Master Tailor. He stands at the ready with needle in hand. Ready to put things back in order for me.

All I have to do is “stand still”…..and see the salvation of the Lord. Hemmed in by the Master. Best place to be in my opinion.

What you see here on this page was a wonderful discovery. Two Wednesday nights ago, I came home deeply burdened for a family problem. Wasn’t mine. But it hurt as if it were. As I was preparing for a small Bible Study session of just two, I began to talk to the Lord.

He heard. He listened. He answered in the most unique way. I told Him this: “Lord, Wanda would love to be here to pray with us over this. This is exactly what she loved to do. Pray for the needs of others.” And I began to cry just a bit. As I do fairly often. As I loaded the dishwasher, the prayer and thoughts were still on my mind. And all of a sudden I had an urgency to go to the little study room where I had unloaded the things from Wanda’s “sewing room” the week before. I had not looked at “everything” yet.

As a matter of fact, the thread boxes were the last thing to look into. I had plundered the cross stitch pages and packets. I had touched all the hoops, felt of all the fabrics, but had left the thread box. Why? Well, it was a clear box…and clearly full of thread. Why open it? Why indeed.

When the urgency to “do something” comes over me, I generally obey. So I left my dishes as they were, dishwasher still open and walked to the room and grabbed the box. I just looked at it.

Pretty colors all neatly lined up like jewelry ready to wear.

Then I noticed in one corner of the box what looked like several folded pieces of paper. I opened the box for closer examination. When I unfolded them and began to read, I began to weep. I said, “Lord, this is exactly what Wanda would say.” Every single verse was about prayer. She was using them to “hide in her heart” as she stitched. She was hemming her day in. She was closing the gap in all of our lives. The seam was strong. The Threads unbreakable, because she used the Thread of the Holy Spirit in her life.

When my visitor arrived, I fixed a cup of tea for each of us and we settled in to pray, share and read some Word. After she spilled her heart, I began to unfold the neatly clipped papers and spread them out on the table. As I read each one, she began to see the “thread of hope”. The thread of consistency. The lifeline of salvation available to each of us….through prayer.

Girls, this is not my usual thankful post. But I just have to share what I am most thankful for. Although I love each one of you, I am thankful most of all for Jesus. For Salvation. For the grace and mercy extended to this wretched sinner. For the prayers of many when I was far from God. For the ability to pray even now for unsaved prodigal children. For your prodigals as well as mine. I am thankful that when I hem my day —-with prayer—it does not unravel. It holds strong. After all, I have just sat before the Master Tailor.

Visit Iris for more thankful posts ~by the way, there is a winner for the give-away~
And the winner is~oh, how I wish I could have bought you each one…..but there is just one number chosen by that random number picker thingy~
Congratulations TwinkleMom!

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Weekend Fun!

A couple of these are from this past summer….the top two to be exact. But I thought I’d share a spoonful of sugar with ya! Now, don’t overdose! That sweetness can get sticky! After you’ve picked up the umteenth truck or almost broken your toe on a car—while kicking it’s wheels before test-drivin’ it!
The top dude loves to play Ninja. The next one down holding the stick, loves to BE NINJA. But he loves to whine more. Which is why I am looking into Ginger Plowman’s new book, “No More Whining”.
The one pictured at the picnic table and with the storybooks and bears is my Rylan. I call him mine for many reasons. His mommy doesn’t mind.
The picture with Papa “trying” to read to a couple of them is funny, because we had more fun watching and listening to Papa deal with this lap full of boys who love books, but love to squirm and ask multiple questions while you are reading…hence, this doesn’t happen very often, so a picture to capture the moment was necessary!
The last sugar-dumplin’ is my Cy-Man. His name is just Cy. But like all grandparents, we have pet names for our kids. Tiffany was “Frog Legs”, April was and is Weezie, and the boys have their own names as well.
My sister, Aimee and I worked on a project last night….more to come on that. It wasn’t a blog. It was a room project. My sister, Wanda’s sewing room. Like I said, more to come on that.

Still Trusting Him

My next post was going to be something “positive”…something to get my mind off the part of me I have lost here on this earth. I say, “part of me”, because that is what both of my sweet sisters are…..part of me. But I cannot post on anything else yet. Connie, I totally understand you dwelling on the “heavenward journey”. I can’t help it. I am inserting a copy of an e-mail I recieved from a very special friend not long after we arrived home from Gainesville. The majority of this was also used at Wanda’s homegoing celebration service (funeral). It fits my petite, sweet sister to the max.

Dear Angie,

You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult time. Although Wanda and I were not intimate friends, I did feel as though I had come to know her over the years. I had the greatest respect and admiration for her consistent demonstration of abiding faith and trust in the face of what many of us would consider to be overwhelming adversity. Despite years of pain and trial, she managed to retain a special sweetness I shall never forget. After I received the news, I spent much of the evening pondering the indescribable profundity of Wanda’s absolute simplicity and straightforward sincerity. She did not strive to be a flashy dresser, a vivacious social butterfly, or a dazzlingly erudite conversationalist. She did not seek the spotlight; she did not pursue praise or adulation. In a world where the surface is so often valued over the core, where the cover is prized more than the content, Wanda always seemed to me to be a ray of almost translucent purity and faith. She leaves behind no record of artistic or intellectual genius; instead, she leaves for an adoring family and loving friends the memories they will never forget: memories of faith, hope, patience, sacrifice, determination, and a never-ending quest to know and fulfill God’s will on this earth. Perhaps, after all, that is an even greater and more valuable legacy for us all.

Love, –April P.

Let me say thanks once again, April. You were under His annoiting when you wrote this, almost as if the pen of the Father was at work through your very fingers. These words have and will continue to bless me.

I also need to say a special thank you to Denise….you have uplifted me daily. You are so sweet. Keep the faith, keep praying.

And Lori,….tonight—I just left the supper table at my sister’s. Sharing a meal with Mark and Victoria, Jeff, our daughter April, her husband and baby Cy…..when I left I broke into tears….for it was just a two weeks ago, I sat across the dear face of Wanda and we shared a Sunday lunch. We had quite a time cleaning the kitchen that day! But tonight, I missed her. I cried. So when I arrived in my door and Jeff said “check your mail”, he knew what I had….and he knew I needed it. I cried again Lori. Your sweet card was the tangible thing I needed to hold. To touch. So, sweet sister Lori, thank you. You have blessed me in many ways.

I cannot begin naming names—-for you have all blessed me with e-mails, comments and “bloggity hugs”!
Thank you for your shoulder….yet again.

Fight the Good Fight of Faith

This morning, I have just finished reading and trying to answer around 100 e-mails over the past week concerning prayers and/or sympathy for the loss of my sister Wanda. Our loss is heavens gain.

I have never been so overwhelmed at the magnitude of visitors and flowers at a funeral service before. At the family visitation time, over 700 necks were hugged or hands shook during this time of sharing our grief with others who loved Wanda and our family. Over 125 flower baskets or sprays lined the hall, foyer, and platform of our home church, Carmel Assembly of God.

The service yesterday was awesome. The Holy Spirit fell upon the house as a blanket of warmth offering comfort and love to each grieving heart. The music was angelic as Carmel’s choir sang a medley of praise songs. A special song by a precious trio, Aaron, Clarissa and Jenna, wrapped us even tighter in His arms, as they sang, “Praise You in this Storm”, by Casting Crowns. It was fitting.

As we look back at Wanda’s sweet life, we realize and know, as we have known each day, she fought the good fight of faith…she has laid hold on her eternal life. 1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses”.

As we stood by her bed just after she left her mortal body for a glorious immortal body, we began to praise the Lord. As the song says, “though I am torn, I will praise You in the storm”. This was sung at the services yesterday, and had special meaning for those of us that were privileged to be with her as she left this earthly life for her glorious eternal life!

“Praise You In This Storm”

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again,

I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

“I’m with you”

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

And I’ll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I’ve cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to you

And you raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can’t find You

But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

“I’m with you”

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth….

A testimony often shared by a beloved uncle, who we believe met her at the Gate, used to say, “In order to hear Him say, “Well done thy good and faithful servant”, you will have to do well.” I want to hear Him speak those words to me. I know those were heard by Wanda. For she did well. Her purpose was fulfilled. She is whole and happy with the Father. We take great comfort in that.

Thank you for all your prayers, comments, love and concern. If you were among the 700+ that visited with us at the church, thank you for that. Your visit, hug or hand shake meant so much. Those that blessed my mother’s home with food, —-incredible. The flowers you sent were beautiful. I heard someone say yesterday that one of the flower shoppes has run out of flowers before Valentines Day to make the many orders that were coming in for Wanda…I simply said, “Well, some lady might not get her valentine flowers, but Wanda deserved them all.” She did.

I have to say one last thing regarding this. I have never seen—-either on TV or in real life….any man so dedicated and loving to his wife—his life mate. My brother-in-law was awesome. Many of the doctors and nurses commented on his tender care…never leaving her side. Thank you Mark. You will never read this, since you don’t do much net surfing…but you were the perfect husband for her. You loved her completely. God blessed our family tremendously when you were married. We all love you dearly. Always will. You will always be our brother. You belong to Aimee, my brother Jeff, and myself.

I hope that somehow, the Lord will pour thoughts back into my head….as it has been very muddled lately. Hopefully next week I will post a devotion again. I love you all.

A New Body in Christ

This morning at 3:30 we held the hand of my sweet sister, Wanda, as she took her last struggling breath here….and stepped over into Heaven and drew a deep cleansing breath of celestial air. Her loving husband, Mark, my mother, my youngest sister Aimee, our home church pastor, Reverend Tommy Moore, and myself were all kneeling and in prayer—-releasing her to our Father, who stepped from His heavenly home to our earthly one to escort His beloved sweet child home.

We will miss her deeply, but we rejoice with her greatly! The pain and suffering she has endured these past, almost 44 years, has been heartbreaking to watch….but she suffers no more. On the last day of this month, she will celebrate her 44th birthday—in heaven. I can only imagine the party my Father will throw for such a faithful beloved child.

With deep gratitude, I thank each of you faithful readers, for your prayers and sweet comments, either by e-mail or on this blog. Our hearts have been greatly blessed by reading your kind words. This week will be full, therefore I will not be posting again for my usual Thankful Thursday. But rest assured, we are thankful….that she is doing things in heaven she could never do on this earth. As the Lord leads, I will share sweet moments of her final days with us.

We are all…..

Wanda’s Hand (Updated)

Today, Wanda needs all the prayers that can be prayed. I appeciate each of you that have prayed and continue to go to the Father on her behalf. Last night as I was in my prayer room/library —the words would not come. Only the tears. But some time in all the mumblings of words, the Holy Spirit came in the room and interceded for me. As I type this the tears begin again. Can’t help it. It happens. The girls at work are very sweet. I have told them I couldn’t talk about the situation much at work due to needing to keep my “face” on, and my mind on my job.

Today they will give her a unit of blood—we need much prayer during this process. It is lengthy and can be accompanied by difficulties. Tomorrow they will give her another unit of blood. Her blood count is low, but this is not a surprise to the Father. They have her on a strong medication to pull the fluid off—pray that it works. She is weak—but He is strong.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthiansn 12:9
If you are curious as to why I put the “hand print” of Wanda on this page, go back and read here. Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate each of you. You have left me some precious e-mails. Many of you have e-mailed me prayers which I am saving to take to Wanda. Thank you for your love and kindness. God is good—and we trust fully in Him.
(Update: She is resting right now, recieved a unit of blood around midnight last night, which, the process takes approximately 4 hours—so there was not much rest last night at all. There has been no fluid loss — actually a gain—but we are counting the blood as being that gain.
Today, pray for rest in between all the activities and tests. Continue to pray for the fluid to come off. She is weak and weary. Pray for them all to be bathed in the annointing of the Holy Spirit—as He gives comfort—exactly what the Bible says He came for —-our Comforter. Pray for guidance in the doctors making the right decisions for Wanda. We pray for peace and comfort. Rest for the weary and annoited strength for those watching over her.
God is good and we continue to trust Him….even in the hard places. I will update as there are changes. She will receive another unit of blood at some point today we understood last night, but not sure when, since the first unit came so late last night. Thank you for your prayers. The Father hears.)

Teach us to Pray

There are many things we teach our children. From the first time we hold our newborn, we begin our important role as “teacher”. We teach them to trust the sound of our voice. We hope that hearing our voice will enable them to feel calm. We teach them to make eye contact. We teach them to listen, laugh, and love. As they grow we begin to teach them to walk, talk, have good manners, be obedient…but one of the most important things you can teach your child….is to pray.

When our little grandsons come for a spend the night visit it is an honor and privilege to listen to them and to help them begin having conversations with the Father. Sometimes they pray long…sometimes very short. The length is not important…the conversation is. Prayer is key to faith. We want them to have faith and believe in God. We want them to know that nothing in this life will ever be too great or too small to take to the Lord in prayer.

I remember last year taking Zackary home to catch the bus after a sleep over and visit with us. I was in a hurry and didn’t get a chance for prayer before we left. So, as I drove through town I asked him if I could pray for him. He said I could, and I laid my hand on his head as I drove. I asked the Lord to protect him, give him wisdom, help him to be obedient and kind and for a healing touch in his body (he was sick with a cold). I could feel Zackary watching me as I prayed and drove. I don’t think he had experienced the “praying driver” before. When I finished my prayer I squeezed his hand and said “Amen!” He looked me in the eye and with all seriousness said, “What did Jesus say?”

This caught me off guard for a brief second, but I quickly replied, “He said, Okay.” This satisified him completely. He needed to know that somehow I felt God speak to my heart. And I do.

I won’t say that I feel something from heaven everytime I pray. There have been times, especially recently that my prayers have seemed to hit the ceiling and bounce back. I have felt such a heavy heart, especially in the most recent days with Wanda beginning to retain fluids again. But I don’t give up. I do not stop praying. That would make the enemy the winner. And that’s not happening.

2 Corinthians 4:18 says, “While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” We may not “see” prayers being answered today or tomorrow, but sister, I do not doubt for one single minute that they are being heard. So, I will not cease to pray. I will persevere. I will carry on for the cause of Christ.

I fix my eyes not on what I see, but rather on what I don’t see. For what I see is only temporary. It won’t last long. As mother quotes rather regularly, “this too shall pass”. So I fix my gaze on what is unseen. For it is eternal. You may think that is an unusual statement, to “gaze on the unseen”. It is not my “physical eyes” that need to see. It is my “spiritual eyes“. As long as my focus is clear spiritually, I can face what my physical eyes must see.

When the outward circumstances of our lives become literally unbearable and our human resources are completely exhausted….God’s resources can come in and expand our faith by whatever means He chooses. God will never forsake His beloved children. “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5(b)

Teach them to pray. Teach them faith. Teach them hope, love, believing in and having full confidence in Christ. Teach them by example. It’s never to late to start.