Category Archives: prayer

You Have to Believe it to See it

You’ve heard people say,– I’ll believe it when I see it? Try believing before you see. Try seeing it in your spirit. And then watch Him unfold the journey.

When in Costa Rica, I almost forgot that a blue this color existed. But the skies are that blue at home. #nofilter. And at night, the stars shine bright. It’s especially beautiful on a cold night. Head thrown back, thanking my Father for such wonderful gifts like this!

Every night while home, when I took my Gracie Mae out, I would look up at the night sky and draw in a deep breath of cold air and proclaim aloud my gratitude for the heavenly display of night-lights. I love it. If you have never had a length of time when you couldn’t see the stars– or a cloudless blue sky this spectacular– like only Northwest Florida (at my moms house) can produce, then maybe you don’t quite understand my immense joy. Even though I couldn’t SEE the stars in Costa Rica, I knew. I believed. They were still hanging around up there. Waiting to be seen!

I love coming home. Although we didn’t stay at mother’s this visit– (the things we both had to do were concentrated in Marianna), I still enjoyed my few short visits back home. It’s was really odd- the LORD really helped me deal with the emotions of each place I called home. The people– that’s another thing. It hurt to leave them again.

Our daughters and their boys are the delight and light of our hearts– but we have an urgent compelling to follow what God has laid on our hearts. It’s a compelling that we just can’t turn off.

The other night I heard something- it was actually in the wee hours of the morning– I lay there very still and the Holy Spirit whispered again. I got up to go to the bathroom with intentions of writing it down (typing it on my notepad) when I got back to bed. But just that fast– that word was gone. Stolen from my mind with all the busy things that kept rolling through night after night while we’ve been home.

As I lay in the bed, very still and quite, I asked the LORD, “please give it to me one more time.”

He did.

“You cannot unhear a call from God.”

Just like you can’t unsee something you wished you hadn’t seen- or unsay something you said and instantly regretted, you cannot unhear once the voice of God has called your name.

Oh how I love Him. I am so thankful that when He looked for someone to “go”, we both said “yes”. How in the world did it all happen?? Only by God’s grace and HIS divine guidance. All the pieces of this journey will hopefully one day find its way to a book– that’s what my friend Betty and I had hoped to get to work on– but it didn’t happen– too many things going on. We’ve planned it and talked it for several years now though. And God has kept piling on the Words and the journey is sweeter with every passing day.

A lot of things look different than what I first supposed. But I have followed Him long enough and lived for Him long enough to know that He is very purposed about every detail of our lives and this journey.

After being in language school with over 30 other students– from other districts, we do know that our district is the best. (Grinning– because our district is family) The West Florida District Presbytery Board gathered around us this afternoon before we left and prayed for us– and we have such admiration for what they each do. They are amazing. And one of them is our oldest daughters Pastor. And I had the opportunity to thank him for all the prayers he has prayed over our girl and her boys. God has been faithful!!

If you’re dreaming a BIG GOD SIZED dream– keep believing. If it won’t turn off in your heart and mind no matter what- keep praying. If every sermon you hear, every song and every Word keeps you coming back to circle your dream again– trust that In HIS timing, it will all line up.

No, it may not look like you imagined. You may be older, gray haired, a little weaker in body, but stronger in spirit, … believe to SEE the impossible. Believe to LIVE the improbable. And believe to be used by the Master Himself when the time is right. That’s what we are here for. Bring HIM glory, through telling His story which is our story and HIS story in us. That may have sounded like a jumble of confusion there– but it’s late. Jeff’s driving and I’m blogging on my phone.

When you look up at the blue sky– think of us. Pray for me that I will keep my eyes open to what HE wants to show me next. And when you look up at the night sky and see stars, count yourself blessed. There were many nights I teared up wanting to see them. I’ve never been on a mission trip to Bolivia and saw the stars. I only saw about 5 stars (and only saw the moon about 5 times!) while in Costa Rica. It saddened my heart a great deal because I love looking at the sky.

Well. It’s late. For us anyway. We may stop and sleep soon and get an early start in the morning. We love y’all. Every single one. Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep giving Him Praise and Glory!

Believing…. and seeing. They go hand in hand.

Believing BIG-

Angie

#aknightsjourney


We all have our deserts

Please be in prayer for dear Home Sanctuary’s Rachele Ann and her family. Their desert is particularly hard right now. She brought sad news today. Visit her when you can, and as you do, please pray.


DEALING WITH THE STUFF

My sister, Aimee called me Sunday afternoon and said, “the ladies are so excited that you are coming to speak!”….I said real quick like….”well, they better get over it!—I am nothing to be excited about!” But Jesus is. Actually, I am the one that is excited. I am excited that the Lord has allowed me a voice to share His mercy and goodness to any person with ears! Whether they want to hear it or not….and you know, every now and then you come across someone that “does not want to hear”.

Join me on Wednesday….let’s deal with our stuff! (Note to Sneads Assembly of God Women’s Ministry group at the bottom!)


Sister Janice and the Sneads Assembly Women’s Ministry group…thank you from the bottom of my heart for the invitation to share my heart. The “Willow Tree” Angel was an awesome gift! I am grateful for each of you. You are such a blessing to me!

I know exactly why Aimee loves each one of you so much! She has been so encouraged as each of you in your own sweet way, has reached out and ministered to her in her heartache. That has blessed me as well. Knowing she is loved and cared for in the way that you have done. (I know that each of you are praying for Tiffany and her family as well! Thank you for that!)

So ladies….clean out all that stuff….make room for more Jesus! (That’s what I’m doing!) He will fill every nook and cranny that we make available! I love you all.


DEALING WITH THE STUFF

My sister Aimee called me Sunday afternoon and said, “the ladies are so excited that you are coming to speak!”….I said real quick like….”well, they better get over it!—I am nothing to be excited about!” But Jesus is. Actually, I am the one that is excited. I am excited that the Lord has allowed me a voice to share His mercy and goodness to any person with ears! Whether they want to hear it or not….and you know, every now and then you come across someone that “does not want to hear”.

This past Sunday, Rylan, our oldest grandson (the one with the autism disorder), was able to spend the day with us and he was doing pretty good that day, so I thought, well, I’ll just take him with me in church instead of taking him to nursery (he’s 6 but because of his condition, he generally doesn’t do well in church with the sounds of the instruments, singing, etc.—too much stimulation). Anyway, as we were getting to the “preaching segment” of the service, he had done well so far, but I was still of holding my breath. As the visiting minister came to the platform and began his welcome, Rylan said in a not so quiet voice, “Is he Jesus?”….I said no, but he is about to tell us about Jesus. And he did.

This actually brings me to something the Lord has been dealing with me about. Our reflection of Jesus. What are we showing the world? If the world came to our house, could they look inside every closet, drawer and cabinet?…What would they see? If nothing was hidden….what reflection would be seen? Jesus? Or, the world?

The Lord began directing my thoughts in this line during Wanda’s last few months, and even more so just after her passing. What her life reflected. What you saw in her home. What was in her spiritual heart. Not the physical one. For that one was malformed. But her spiritual heart was completely in perfect order with Him. Her Lord.

I was talking with Aimee about this as we were cleaning up before she came home from the hospital in January after the long stay just days after Christmas. Her kitchen counters had “things of life” on them. Music CD’s that she listened to “to encourage her heart”, medicine, papers, mail, cards, a book or two, many things that had just not been put in it’s correct place.

She had become overwhelmed in the days before Christmas with all the functions, activities and cooking that was necessary and had not had a chance to put things that was readily visible in complete order. But, when you opened the cabinet in search of something, the cabinets were in tip-top shape. Bowls stacked according to size, lids all together, glasses clean and without spots! in their correct place, and her pantry was much the same.

Wanda could tell you exactly where everything was kept. (Which she did once she came home and we began cooking for her.) Everything on the inside was in perfect order. She had more stuff on the outside than she could cope with at times, but she organized and put away as she could to keep things in such condition that she would not be embarrassed for anyone to come in and visit. (Today…I would be highly embarrassed at the “stuff” I have let accumulate during these past busy days.)

I began to think of my own house. Not only my physical house, but my spiritual house. I have too much stuff. More furniture than I know what to do with. I crowd as many things in a closet as will fit. While most of the time, the dishes, pots and pans are in a passable order, there are the times when my husband may put something away….and not knowing my “system” —well, you get the picture…or at least once it all falls out you will!

As the Lord began dealing with me about things in my house, as well as things in my heart, I knew it was time to deal with both.

I listened to Brother Juno’s sermon from Sunday night and realized he was right where the Lord had been leading me. One of my first few blogs I typed was called “Deal with Your Stuff”. I remember that when Tiffany and April were young, they would need help in the daily straightening of their room. Soon though, they got the hang of it. But if they let a day pass without the ritual of putting things in proper order…it would soon look as if the closet had regurgitated all over the floor!

Stuff can overwhelm us. Not only too many things in our home, but too much going on in our lives. Philippians 3:13-14 says “No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (NLT)

Have you ever noticed how the world makes it all to easy to just “hang on to stuff”. Not only do we cram our closets, but we rent “storage rooms” or warehouse units so that we can “keep piling things up”. Why? Why would we want to continually flood our lives with things that we need to deal with now?

I am guilty of that myself. When we moved to Marianna we had to rent storage until we “repaired” the house we are living in. Then we had to decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Right now, we have some things in storage. Some is being stored for future use for Tiffany, some for April. But as for me….I am dealing with and getting rid of all things that are unnecessary in my house and life. Lesson learned long ago.

Almost 15 years ago I was in a raw emotional condition due to not dealing with some critical issues in my heart and life. They were painful. It was hard. It was much easier to just tuck it all away in a pretty box and label it “do not open”. Trouble came though, when the box lid slipped. I don’t remember what caused it…but when it slipped…the stuff came boiling to the top. This is painful even to admit I allowed myself to become so “overtaken by anxiety” that one night—after many nights of sleeplessness, the enemy of my soul crept into my room and whispered into my ear…what’s it all for? Why continue on? Who would miss you? Who would care? They’d all be better off….and I listened…and cried in my pillow. I will tell you –I am ashamed to say this, hardly anyone knows the depth of my pain at this moment in my life, but even the thought of ending my life entered my head.

I hardly remember that girl of anxiety and despair. I know in my heart and mind right now that I would have not followed through with the thoughts of destruction, but I say this to tell you that “anyone” is susceptible to the attack of the enemy.

I look back now and wonder how/why? I had done almost everything in the church from cleaning toilets to teaching Sunday School. Yet in all of that life of “christian activity”, I was not exempt from the evil attack of satan. It was the most horrendous of enemy attacks I believe that exists, because when he tempts you to “take your life”, he is telling you that you can “control” your life and God. He is trying to succeed in casting you in outer darkness forever. No turning back. When the last breath flows out, there is no putting life back in. I believe you have just physically plucked yourself from God’s hand and jumped headlong into eternity—without Him.

Fortunately, I had presence of mind to run to the Father, and He was in the house—chasing the enemy from the room as I called out to God in my pain. One night, as I lay on the floor in the bathroom and sobed out to Him, He reached down and picked me up. I eventually returned to bed—and Jeff was never aware of the spiritual battle that had taken place that night while he slept. It was a battle. And I knew that I was not “armed” for this battle as I should have been.

While my house and life had been flooded with “stuff” …there were some things I had neglected. Daily prayer. Daily reading of God’s Word. Intercessory prayer for others. Yes, you can do all the “christian things that are expected of you” and still neglect your own heart and prayer life. Oh, I was still a Christian, but I was running around practically naked (if you will pardon that example). My spiritual clothing was missing. Parts of it was there, but it was ill fitting because I had neglected to keep it in tip-top shape. What to do?

Clean out your closet and drawers. Don’t leave anything in. Get it all out. As Aimee, Wanda and I had made plans to help each other in the beginning of this year “clean out the excess stuff”…we had proclaimed that we were going to get “Ruthless” with each other’s stuff. No hanging on to things that were unnecessary. Apply that to things in our lives. Take it all out and examine it for wear and tear. If it’s not appropriate….get rid of it.

The closer I get to the Lord, I am finding that things—I’m not necessarily speaking of clothes here, but some things are just not “for me” any longer. Things that might have been okay, in the past few years, aren’t any more. I don’t want anything…ANYTHING to stand in the way of my relationship with God. Not any individual…nor any earthly possession. There is nothing…and nobody like my JESUS!

Ephesians 4:10-18 (NLT) “A final word: Be strong with the Lord’s mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.

The entire waredrobe of holiness must be donned daily. DAILY. In a recent discussion with Aimee, we both shared our need for prayer in the morning. Aimee said, “I don’t feel fully dressed if I haven’t prayed.” I know that is the truth.

We aren’t adequately covered spiritually if we don’t get with the Father….and I have to do that in the mornings as well as at the close of my day. My former prayer life was not as fervent. But I have learned. It is the “effectual fervent prayer that will avail much”. The Matthew Henry Commentary shares that “the prayer itself must be a fervent, in-wrought, well-wrought prayer. It must be a pouring out of the heart to God; and it must proceed from a faith unfeigned. Such prayer avails much. ” To get a clearer understanding of this I looked up avail. Avail means to be of use or value to; profit; advantage; have force or efficacy; or the power or capacity to produce a desired effect.

So, where do we go from here? I tell you where I’m going. I am dealing with everything that comes up….as it comes up. No waiting. No putting it off or in a cute box….It’s deal with it now. If you wait, the enemy has a chance to plan a strategy to use it against you.

I am closing with this: After Wanda passed away, Mark asked Aimee and I to meet him at the house to choose her clothes for burial. As we began searching through her closet for a dress, I noticed how neat and orderly her shoes and her clothes were. She did not have a cram packed closet of clothes. Just enough to take her through each season of life. Her shoes were neatly hanging in the shoe bag. Not an extraordinary amount. Shoes were not her obsession. After we chose her dress, I began going through her dresser drawers for other necessary things and found her things in perfect order.

As I rolled this over in my mind—I realized that with Wanda, what you saw on the outside…a neat, petite, orderly sweet woman, was exactly what she was on the inside. Both physically and spiritually. While her physical “heart” was not formed from birth as it should have been, her spiritual heart was in perfect formation. I knew right then I had some things that needed tending to. I am continually cleaning out. Continually removing, rearranging, and getting downright “ruthless” with myself, to be in perfect alignment with my Father.

So…are you ready? Grab those garbage bags girls….let’s get to it!


Solving the World’s Problems ….. and some of my own

I find myself doing the most ridicules things. Just like this morning. I woke just after 5:00 a.m. and lay there in my soft cocoon of clean sheets, soft comforter and cozy pillow and I tried to solve the world’s problems before I got up….well maybe not the world’s…but mine felt like the problems of the world…AND THEN …..(Click below Grandbuddy)

Grab your cup of coffee and join me over at the “Cafe”—the Internet Cafe….


Praise You in the Storm

Two weekends ago, as Jeff and I were driving home from Gainesville, Florida…leaving a very weak sister behind…my heart was the heaviest I have felt for some time now. This song came on the radio and my tears fell as my heart wept for the “unknown”. Our family has been in this place with her before. Watching Wanda struggle. Watching the enemy try and drain her very life from her body. But friends, family and even complete strangers began to pray. People that don’t know Wanda began to call on the Father on her behalf….and Wanda’s little body began to strengthen. The building fluid began to leave —- slowly —- but we are believing—trusting—that it all will.
She has had some tough times…but her strength is amazing. Her faith is incredible.
As the doctor looked at her with questions, Wanda simply stated, “I believe I will get better”. We believe. We trust. Not in man. But in God. Read the words to the song, “Praise You in the Storm” and praise the Lord with us for the strength she has gained since the unit of blood. (There is a whole blog devotion in that sentence.) Thank you for praying. Please continue!

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say “Amen,” and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls I barely hear
You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”

And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Words by Mark Hall© 2005 Club Zoo Music (BMI) / SWECS Music (BMI) (adm. by EMI CMG Publishing) / Word Music, LLC (ASCAP) / Banahama Tunes (ASCAP) (adm. by Word Music, LLC)

Praising “in” the storm is the hardest thing to do. We are learning though, that it is essential.

God bless you.

Trusting Him,

Angie