February 11, 2021

Focusing Forward

By Angie Knight

“…I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”   Philippians 3:13(b)-14 NLT (Emphasis mine)

holy bible, new living translation

I’ve heard this passage many times, read it many times—but in my desperation to leave 2020 and enter 2021, I felt the necessity of this verse in order to experience what God has “next” for me.  

And here we are now saddled up on February.  We have no clue yet the ride in store.  We never dreamed the last 14 months or so would have been what they were; yet we held on.  The ride rough, the waves high, the race uphill, but here we are. 

I’m not ignoring the present or the past to leap to the future…they each have a purpose which shapes and molds us—but we need to guard how that shaping takes place.

  • Have you ever experienced something so heart rending that unintentionally you held on to parts of it—sort of as a reminder?  That maybe if you weren’t careful, it would happen again?  Or suffered such a loss that you clung to everything that it represented in your life—the good and the bad?

The Holy Spirit reminded me that while hardships are bound to happen to us as we continue in this life—because it is a fallen world, we have a hope in Christ.   However, what we do with those hardships is key to our growth, or the stunting of our growth.

  • Have you ever seen a tree that was crooked or bent in such a way that it just doesn’t stand as tall as those around it?  Something happened to that tree in the growing cycle.  Just as hurricanes and tornadoes come through and twist, rip, snap and uproot trees, it can absolutely stunt the growth of the baby trees. 

That happens to people too.  A life storm shakes us at the roots and we become stunted in growth—spiritually, and sometimes even physically.  Sometimes we “feed” our pain by focusing on that and nothing else and everything else around us seems to fade from our vision.  We cannot see beyond the current pain or grief.  

I’ve observed a line of trees recently that look healthy as far as the new leaves coming on, with one exception:  they all lean hard to one side.  And they will grow that way unless someone comes along and pulls them back—their roots need to be adjusted.  They need to be propped up.  The need supporting.  I’ve seen this on roadsides, as new, developed trees have been planted.  They tie a padded rope around heavier, lower limbs and drive stakes into the ground to give them added stability on all sides until the roots begin to sink down into the ground where they are planted.

Just as the trees need help to grow upright again, so do the hearts and lives of those around us; those whose lives seem shipwrecked by their circumstances.  No matter what type of loss it is—loss of any type can cripple a heart and life—or stunt the growth of the individual.  Especially if all we can see is the loss.  That’s not healthy.  Closing our lives off to living, not just existing, is like the wind that twists the trees.  

Everyone handles hardship and grief differently.  Sometimes we just want to escape—run away—or hibernate.  (See my hand up?  I’ve felt that way myself.)

Like so many others, I draw my strength from the Word of God, through prayer and time with the LORD, and from the prayers and encouragement of others.  We all can be “encouragers”.  One who helps stabilize the root system of our windswept sisters and brothers.  

“…strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees.  Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies.  He is coming to save you.”  Isaiah 35:3-4

Holy Bible, New Living Translation

There are countless people in this world who have no clue of the Resource of strength that we have.  The nearest need may even be your neighbor.  They go through life and the hardships hit, or the life altering circumstances yank them up by the roots and they often wither and die—right in our midst.  They ache to know the One who can help—maybe they don’t realize the emptiness in their lives well enough to put a name on it—but friend, there’s a mission field of hurting people in our midst if we would take the time to look around.

As I’ve wrestled with the thought that I might not get to return to Bolivia due to unrest, covid-19 and political changes, my heart has been grieved.  I see pictures in my phone or on blogs I wrote in the past years and my eyes fill with tears and my chest tightens up with grief.  I could allow that emotion-or feeling to stay; to take root and even stunt my growth or blind my eyes to what God has AHEAD and totally miss my next assignment…or, I can release it and let God direct me forward. 

However, today as I encourage myself, I want to do the same to you, let your eyes go back to the top and re-read this part of that verse. “…. looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”   

To look forward…we must face forward. That’s where He is calling us—from the past, to the future.  

With that being said, There is something I’ve been working on a little bit…very little because of my lack of skills in this particular area–and my lack of free time. (I feel guilty to sit down and write because it takes SO much time –and there’s so much regular life stuff that also vies for my attention.)

BUT. As God leads, I’m partnering up with two amazing young mothers and I cannot wait to share what God is doing in all our lives! 🙂 More on that later –just come on back now, ya hear?

©  Angie Knight 2021.  All rights reserved.  Used by permission. (Also shared in February 2021 StreetTalk.)

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January 2, 2021

Happy New Year? Welcome 2021

By Angie Knight

The trees are down.  Decorations put away.  Almost.  There is one little tree left in the guest room because I have a plan for that one. (Rambling thoughts for my first blog of 2021.)

I bought three trees in October of 2018 and they fit perfectly in different areas of the little cabin we lived in, graciously provided by dear friends of ours.  It was cozy and warm and felt homey from the first time we walked in.  I needed the twinkling light from those trees in my home to soothe my aching heart over the enormous turmoil my heart, mind and emotions were in—not to mention the physical problems that had arose as a result of the chemo and radiation before we left for Bolivia.  But we won’t go into that today.

We are now in our third house since moving back home, but we are back in the house we lived in before we left. The house where the dreams were dreamed and plans made–and faith grew. Even though this house is much smaller than either of the other two we lived in since being back, I was determined to put the three trees back up.  As I half dragged the big box for the 7 foot tree to the back porch and exclaimed loud enough for Jeff to hear as he was walking to the house, “I’m not putting up any trees next year”.  I was pooped.  His reply to remind me that I “would change my mind” was 99% truth.  I’m holding out 1% in case I don’t.

Nearly every year I find one left over and misplaced decoration that got left out of the Christmas storage boxes…and I have to remember to tuck it away some place safe so I can find it in 11 months.  Or 10. Depending on how 2021 goes.  I joined the ranks of thousands of women all over the nation who doggedly pulled the trees out at the end of October and first sign of November to bring a little joy to this crazed world.  

After most all the decorations had been packed up and the big tree, standing naked in the living room I grabbed the top to jerk it off the main trunk and my hand felt the ornament.  The last one.  The one on the back side that I never saw.  Oh, I decorate the back too, even though you don’t see it. For balance sake you have to even out the whole tree, otherwise you will come in and find it on the floor (as I saw a few pictures of on Instagram).

When I pulled the little ornament free from the branch, I realized it belonged in the very bottom box of the heavy stack of five and I wasn’t about to unload and search out it’s nesting place.  I wrapped it in tissue and tucked it inside a little box and shoved it down into a secure place in the top box.  It was a tiny snowman.  I have a thing for snowmen.  I guess because I live in Florida and it rarely ever snows.  Like maybe once every 10 or 12 years.  So instead of living in snowy areas, I have a few little snowmen who hang on the fake snow-covered branches of my Christmas tree.  

As I sat there exhausted from the clean-up, I wondered what in the world is all the fuss about.  Why did I continue to make things difficult for myself?

I realized I do that so often in day-to-day life as well.  

As 2021 was approaching I realized it was high time I made some serious changes.  For myself.  

In the dismantling of the Christmas decorations, I thought about all the unnecessary things we (I) have layered into my life.  Stacked it right on top of each other -and I have felt like there were times either it, or I would topple.  Only I can fix this.

Coming back home after living in a foreign third-world country I realized I lived without a lot of things that I now have [again] in my home or on my shelves.  

Santa Cruz, Bolivia, March 2018

I had no dryer.  I hung up all our clothes and ironed every single thing we wore.  Now, I have a dryer—and I still iron.  But that’s a choice. 

I had no dishwasher to make life easier.  I washed every single dish and dried it and put it away.  Today, I have a dishwasher.  It does everything BUT put them away.  And I’m tons more exhausted now with all the extra helpers of appliances than I was then.  So, what’s the deal?  

Personally, I think it’s the race we’re in.  It’s kind of invisible, but it’s there nonetheless.  The minute my feet hit the floor it begins.  We accomplish no more than if we stopped and took a breath and paused and drank a cup of coffee with a friend.

I love the one-on-one talks with friends. Covid has sort of taken away the privilege of that necessary cup of coffee with a friend…unless you Zoom it in…and that’s just not the same. So we have all hibernated away in a sense. At least parts of us–we tucked away because we couldn’t do the things we were accustomed to doing the way we were accustomed to doing them.

Yesterday, January 1, 2021 I experienced my FIRST grocery pick-up. I can truthfully say that I would be fine to not darken the doors of Walmart again–this was so NICE! It saved me from unnecessary purchases and it saved me about an hour out of my day….not to mention the exhaustion accompanied by the grocery shopping. SO, THIS was one new change brought about by Covid that I actually LIKE!

It might have been difficult for you to walk into this new year using the words, “Happy”. You may have lost the dearest person to you in 2020–so you are likely super skeptical about 2021. I would be too. I felt that way about 2019. Physically I was in such a mess from the damaged thyroid from cancer treatments that showed up in life altering ways–that I didn’t feel happy…about much of anything.

I had painted our mission field experience in bright colors and expected things to turn out the way I had envisioned…. On this side of it, I remind myself that our lives are designed by the Master Creator. And even though there were so many things that were unexpected…. I believe He was glorified by our faith and trust in Him to fulfill the dreams He had placed inside our hearts—even though things had changed. Tucked inside the harder days, there were many happy ones. Time spent with our friends–happy times. Monday night ladies Bible Study–even though I had to work hard to understand what was said, happy times. Walking the streets of Bolivia holding the hand of my sweet love (and Costa Rica), happy times. Baking cookies or creating a new dish for Jeff, happy times. The list goes on.

The discovery that my “happy” times were times spent with those I love, or doing something for them let me see that my times of discouragement came from within my mind–where the enemy stalks and throws out reminders of what was missing from my life. And even though it was so painful–these two years later, I finally see that I am the only one who can decide who the winner is.

If our happiness is dependent on our circumstances–I guess we could all find places to sit down in the mud of life and quit.

Our true “happy new year” will come from the LORD. Even this morning–in the wee hours when I was half asleep/half awake–the enemy tossed a few reminders into my head about the missing pieces that once brought joy. As I thought about them, I soon realized what his plan was; for me to enter 2021 with sadness and more depression. But I cannot allow that any longer.

My joy comes from the LORD. He is my rock and my salvation. I must make every effort to be conscious of the tactics of the enemy–staying aware. Staying armed with the Word of God will defeat the enemy EVERY TIME. I may not jump up from here this morning dancing with glee….but I will get up with the strength which comes from my Father. I will rejoice and be GLAD of heart for ALL that He has brought me through.

And, since I’m still breathing…and apparently you are too, HE has something yet for us to do. As I make conscious efforts to keep in step with Him, guarding my heart and thoughts, I pray for you, that YOU are able to see Him standing beside you, hand extended. Ready to hold you when you need holding, lead you along the way, and guide the direction of the path you should take in 2021.

I believe with ALL my heart, Jesus is coming soon. Use what He has given you. And, have a HAPPY, confident in Him, Jesus filled New Year!

© Angie Knight 2021.  All rights reserved.  

*blog changes coming soon*

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January 30, 2020

Why Are YOU Here? (by Jeff)

By Angie Knight

“Why are you here?”  I preached this sermon on a Sunday morning at our home church just a bit ago and when I arrived in Bolivia this past weekend, I was honored to be able to preach in two services and I referred to this question in both of them.  

Today, the LORD asked me, “Why are YOU here?”

I arrived in Santa Cruz on Saturday night and haven’t slowed down since I’ve been here.

My dear friend, Pastor Joel and I have been fast paced, trying to get everything accomplished that needed doing for this year.  All the preparations for what our teams will do when we arrive in the coming months.

Today began like all the rest, wide open, and hot, hot temps.  We arrived at one of the schools that Focus Forward Ministries have in the past years, helped with several projects—and some of you have been a vital part of that, through your giving to help us build bathrooms and purchase playground equipment to ministering to the kids in crusades in so many times.  

The principal, who has become a good friend to our team, had prepared us a good breakfast when we arrived. After enjoying the breakfast, I began questioning the principal to catch up on what’s been going on.  School begins here next Monday, February 3rd, and I asked her what the school, the teachers or students might need.  One big thing I really wanted to know was, “How are the kids on school supplies”.  “What can we do to help the kids get started off right this school year?”

She replied to me that there would be 33 kids show up on Monday with no supplies.  Nothing in their hands, no uniforms, no books, not even a pencil.  That’s when the tears began flowing from my eyes.  

Thinking of all these kids who didn’t have anything.  As she was talking about the needs of these 33 kids, something came over me and I just had to assure her that these 33 kids would have what they needed before school began on Monday. 

 I don’t normally make any decision without first talking it over with Angie, Chase, Shelly, Floyd and Sandi, our Focus Forward Team.  But once she began telling me about this situation, those words came rushing back to my mind, “Why are YOU here?”  

As those four words made themselves at home in my mind, I knew I had to decide right then.  I asked her to meet us at the school supply store first thing in the morning.  Our friend, Geraldo, owns this store and always gives us a good discount.  (That’s why we asked for donation of money this year—it’s so less expensive to buy supplies here.)   

As we began to talk more, I asked if there was anything else that was needed.  She began to share with me the needs of two of the kids in this particular school.   There are sensitive details I am not at liberty to share on social media, but I will share it when I get home with our prayer partners.  But to get to the bottom line of these two children, we need to help them get back in school.  They had to drop out this past year.  The principal had been searching everywhere for answers on how to get these kids back in school.  As soon as she said that she couldn’t find a way, those four words came to me again, “Why are YOU here?”

This IS why we are here.  This is why we came.  

The LORD has blessed us insurmountably- to be able to bless these. Maybe we don’t always have cash on hand, but we always have prayer partners who will pray, and we serve a GOD who always supplies. 

Again, twice in one day, I made a decision without consulting with our Focus Forward Ministry Team. On faith, I committed us to support these two children, age 10 and 12, in school for this year.  Angie and I have had plenty of experience as God’s children, that when we ask believing, He supplies.  He does not withhold any good thing from His own.

  • Here’s what I know God will supply:  
  • the finances to keep these two in school;
  • funds for uniforms;
  • books; and
  • necessary supplies.

Even if I have to give up a few meals a week, or some of the conveniences that I have; even if I have to sell some of my prized possessions, whatever I need to do, the educational needs of these two will be met.  

I talked to a pastor yesterday, he shared that his wife became sick and had to be hospitalized and he didn’t have the money to pay the hospital.  He had to sell his car to pay the hospital bill and now he walks everywhere he goes.  So you see, when it comes to someone we love, we will do whatever it takes—and the LORD has put such a love in our hearts for these kids in Bolivia—and we will do whatever it takes, for we know, without doubt, our God will provide a way.

Some of our local church members may remember when I preached a message a few Wednesday nights back, I made the statement  “the people who work in the prisons really had my admiration”—and then I said, “that was one thing I didn’t want to ever do”—and then, “Lord I don’t want to do it, but if you say, if you open the door, then I will.”  Well, you guessed it.  The LORD opened the door today.

In our meeting today with the principal at Freedom School, he asked the question, “when your team comes back, would you like to go into the prison and minister to the kids there?”  He said the door had been opened to him to go in and minister to about 50 kids ranging in age from three to five who cannot come out to attend school, and he wanted to know if we would want to go with him.  And again, those four words rang in my mind again, “Why are YOU here”?

I think the best answer I have to that is “because I prayed: Lord here am I, send me”.

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And to top the day off, meet Dana (pronounced, Donna), age 12, her goal is to be a missionary—and hey, get this; to the USA.  You know I already feel a burden for Angie and myself to help make this happen.  After all the heartbreaking news of the morning, to hear this statement brought the tears once again, but this time, they were tears of joy.

We are incredibly grateful for each one of our supporters–those who have chosen to sponsor the school supply projects in Bolivia or to help keep a child in school. Your impact in these lives will be a ripple effect in the lives beyond the borders of all our lives. Thank you.

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November 16, 2019

Long Time- No See

By Angie Knight

Before you begin reading this— you need to know up front that God has been seriously dealing with ME on an extremely personal- unvarnished level. Blinders off.

This isn’t necessarily a ministry update as much as it is a personal update. We are STILL called to make an impact through missions in Bolivia and other countries (Bolivia is just so dear to our hearts). As a matter of fact, God is showing us new ways we can do that and we plan to implement them and talk about them again soon. He has also been showing us new fields that He’s calling us to. It’s mind blowing. We wait on Him.

I want to share with you a small portion from my YouVersion devotional today, “Praying for the Impossible”:

“One hundred twenty people in the early church were able to change the world through the gospel because they were empowered by God’s Spirit. Today we have 120 churches in close proximity in one community, and we can’t make an impact! Why? Because too many of us are like the dead man’s bones in the valley—lacking strength, influence, and life.

“You see, at some point there has to be an honest evaluation of the heart. We can’t be afraid of that. It needs to be the cry of your heart, my heart, and every Christian’s heart.” (End of devotion portion)

What a thought. What a reminder. The LORD GOD of Heaven wants to use YOU and me to make an impact and difference in this world. He wants YOU and me to be His world 🌎 changers. We can’t do that- or anything else successfully if we continue being satisfied with where we are in Christ. We are none where He wants us to be— there’s always—always room for growth.

He wants us EMPOWERED with the Holy Spirit— full of faith and believing – whether we see change or not— BELIEVING for impossible things to be possible through Him.

He wants our minds off of ourselves and onto the lost world 🌍 🌎 We cannot have that upper room empowering experience if we can’t get and keep our focus on Him.

We are often so full of ourselves. I see people constantly taking selfies in bathroom mirrors- etc. Why? Good grief Charlie Brown. Where did we make such a turn?

I’m laying myself before the LORD and asking Him, PLEASE show me YOU. Where YOU want me to recognize what I need to change. I submit. Daily. Sometimes it takes that daily surrender to get it to stick. Some of us are hard headed. (Me included)

We can’t be world 🌎 changers focused on us. Our line of sight must widen to include those around us, those in other cities and states and other countries.

Some won’t like this— but the only reason we need to be standing in front of the mirror (besides checking to make sure we have cleaned up right- the hairdo right and clothes on right- before we leave the house) is to see what needs changing. Facing the truth about how far we’ve wandered from His path. Not showing the world our puckered duck lips face (craziest thing ever).

Sometimes we (me especially) don’t want to say the truth out loud because we don’t want to offend…. I would rather take a chance on offending you here than watch you continue to slip further and further from the Truth you know, but allowed the devil to keep it tucked in the back of your closet like it’s not as important as it used to be. Trust me; it still is important.

God’s command: Love Him, love others. If we are loving Him and those around us… I know without doubt, we will spend less time in front of the mirror— unless it’s to truly evaluate the truth we see there.

God is ready to help each of us reach that place of empowerment. A Holy Ghost filled anointed powerhouse for Him. Not satisfied to let others do what He’s called the church to do…. what He’s called you and I to do….

Let us reevaluate our hearts. It’s a painful process— I kid you not. I’ve been sitting on the potters wheel for quite a while now. I don’t want a scrap of me left that is a hindrance to what He wants for my life. (Gulp)

I’ve got some other things to tell you soon…. but again, waiting on God. I won’t budge a toe in a direction that is not led fully by Him.

Pray for those around you… and please, please, please, pray for Bolivia.

2 Comments | posted in Missions

September 21, 2019

A Continual Faith

By Angie Knight

One morning a several years ago, as I drove to work, the fog was so thick….you’ve heard the term “thick as pea soup?”—this was thicker. But as I cautiously drove, these thoughts came pouring in my heart. And believe it or not– I grabbed a pen and wrote scribbled them down.

Faith in the Fog

When you can’t see where you’re going,

You don’t know what’s ahead,

You put your hands out to touch-

And suddenly you dread.

At first sight you wondered why,

And other questions pile right on.

The answer’s always fleeting,

and you never feel at home.

But You keep going.

With arms reaching out,

To what you know in your heart, there’s no room for doubt.

His heart He will reveal- maybe not today,

but rest assured you will see it- all along the way.

© Angie Knight

Jeremiah 29:12-13 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Circumstances happen daily that test our faith. And as long as we are alive -it will continue to do so.

I’ve been in the “testing place” before. So have you. But if you haven’t yet– hang on child– the Teacher always has a test- and sometimes before all the material has been covered.

Sometimes it feels like a pop-quiz. And I’m totally unprepared.

But what I’ve learned is -He always supplies a Helper.

For. Each. Test.

Yesterday marked a reason for celebration as I had my follow up yearly mammogram after having been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in August of 2016.

I’ve never loved the word “normal” as much as I did yesterday when it came through a text message from the hospital barely an hour later. I rapidly sent out the same message to my sweet Jeff and my girls. They rapidly replied with “praise God!”

This time three years ago, I had begun chemo and Jeff had cut my hair down shorter than his, because it began coming out in small clumps and I didn’t want to wake up one morning with half of it on my pillow.

Enter: Insecurity at it’s highest.

When that diagnosis came it was unexpected. A fog around our lives seemed to kind of settle.

What we thought was God’s plan–seemed to be slipping a bit from our fingers. We thought.

We had a timeline and manner in which we thought things would be done in– an orderly fashion. You know– like you’re told to exit a burning building in an orderly fashion.

We thought, as we were working on becoming debt free, that we could do what needed to be done – because of course God had set this in motion by planting this desire firmly in our hearts… so what could possibly go wrong– right?

At times like this– when WE think we know what we’re doing and it even seems doable— God shakes things up with a few impossibilities– I think, just to see if we will stay the course or abandon ship. When the impossibilities of the financial issues (SUPER THICK FOG) that arose with all this– it would look virtually IMPOSSIBLE. But again– God had a plan.

We thought — when we heard the news of “cancer” that the fog was too thick now to continue. But… we needed to only remember that the One who called us had HIS timeline that was different than ours….

We took our concerns to the LORD and He assured us the plan had not changed. We would follow His direction without hesitation.

We proceeded.

Toward the end of my chemotherapy treatments– A new challenge presented itself. I realized my port would have to be flushed every few weeks.

  • As MUCH as I hate needles– and cringe at the thought of this– I sucked it in and we trained (we as in Jeff) to be able to handle the flushing of my chemo port while in Costa Rica. We (he) practiced stabbing me in the chest with the long needle, and we (totally me), practiced not panicking and not crying (too much) over all this trauma.
  • That smile on my face was as pasted on as I could manage. No joke. These were some scary days for me. Battles at night in my mind- as the devil continued to taunt me… and every day I welded my sword as I wrote and prayed and read scripture. Every. Single. Day. And I still do. Because the devil still fights.

    • I never realized how much I dreaded the tests and results until it was over yesterday and I felt like I had just had the vice grip released from my heart and mind. I felt free.

    We STILL believe God is unfolding new things for us each day.

    We still believe we walked in His perfect timing in leaving for the field one short week after the final radiation treatment. We may not understand why it all happened like it did– but we believe He planned it all and allowed the things that did because it would eventually work for our good and His glory. Somehow. This is firm in my heart.

    This is the part that’s not foggy. This is clear.

    Once again we are following His steps without knowing exactly what He’s doing. We feel an anticipation in the air and our hearts– and we know Focus Forward Ministries has some big dreams yet to dream… and we are willing and ready.

    We are grateful for every prayer partner and supporter– please keep praying. Keep believing IN MORE.

    I see the fog lifting….

    © 2019 Angie Knight. All rights reserved.

    3 Comments | posted in Missions

    September 14, 2019

    We are 5+2 (Loaves & Fish)

    By Angie Knight

    “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

    “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

    And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.”
    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭14:14-17, 19-21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    This past week we saw the power of 5+2=7.

    I am usually back and forth between the construction team and the crusade team, taking pictures and recording the journey in words and pictures. But it has been a long while since I’ve been able to do that.

    Blogging the mission journey was a big passion of mine. But with everything that has happened in the last couple of years, I had my doubts that I could feel and participate in this passion again.

    This was the smallest team we have ever brought—BUT as always, God knew what He was doing. This was the absolute perfect size to do what we were able to do. Any more and it wouldn’t have worked exactly as it did.

    After every team, we’ve always said: “this was the best mission team and trip ever.” However— this time God allowed us to share with this small group some more personal things that we are blessed to be able to be a part of in Bolivia. We were able to visit the homes of the seven young girls we now sponsor—with the help of each of our own supporters. YOU make it possible for these little ones to receive an education- empowering them with the resources necessary to be productive citizens in their country- and as they are also given the opportunity to know Jesus Christ— their world takes on a whole new perspective and they can see there is something for them to do as well. We believe they will also become givers and not just receivers.

    Through the anointing of the Holy Spirit, our source of strength- we were able to greet and minister to over 2,500 people. The two Sunday services, Jeff preached and Pastor Tim Russell preached, then Jeff preached again with Dr. Deborah Willis sharing her amazing testimony in an older teen session, two spot-on messages, over 2,000 children, and over 500 adults, young adults and teenagers. Visiting four schools each day- adding in 3 new public schools this trip— all with invitations to come back again soon, Heather Jordan, Kristin Stevens, and Chase Curti ministering daily, along with the rest of us, we saw exactly what happened when Jesus broke the bread and blessed the meal to feed the 5,000+. We were the packed lunch. We were the little to feed many. He is our Source and we were the bread and fish He used as supply for others this week.

    Just like the disciples— we may have all wondered. We had all seen larger teams in action. But we had yet to witness what God would do with a group whose hearts and souls were steadfast into the mission as these.

    What the devil, through cancer, couldn’t do in 2016-17, he tried another tactic to make us stop leading- stop ministering— stop working for the LORD. And I soon saw that he would stop at nothing. He set out to actually destroy us. Both.

    I left this country last year in a very broken place in my life. The enemy uses whatever he can; circumstances, other people, health, and intense spiritual warfare to stop us from proceeding with God’s call on our lives.

    I remember distinctly one morning when we lived in Bolivia, I had been in our office/prayer room for a longer than usual time that morning- heart so heavy— emotionally hurting for what I had no control over, I stood in front of my closet and made the simple daily statement: “what am I going to wear today?” On top of my question it seemed, the answer; “your armor”.

    Later that same day I received a text message from my sister that she was praying for is and she added a passage from Ephesians:

    “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:10-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    We are the ones who have to go into action. Yes, God is always working on our behalf— but He needs our submission- willingness and obedience. “Put on…. take up…..” actions by us— not Him.

    I had to choose way earlier than when we first began to itinerate to submit. We both did.

    Then when difficult things came our way, like sickness, and a financial mountain that it brought with it, we had to keep on choosing to remain on the path set before us— even though we had no clue what God was doing.

    Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us the HE knows the plans He has for us. And I have clung to that fact that He knows— therefore in trusting Him— I have to be okay with not knowing. (Although I admit at times it could drive me nuts if I let it.)

    He has shown me— it’s in the breaking that the blessing comes forth. As a matter of fact, often it is the breaking of the shell of what we think we are supposed to be— that’s when the fruit is exposed. So maybe…. just maybe, what we thought we were supposed to be was not exactly what He had planned….maybe it was just the precursor or -maybe it was way-way more. I’m ready. Or, should I say, we’re ready.

    This— this trip brought some healing in unexpected ways.

    If you feel broken and unusable— you are in the perfect place to be used… just yield. Watch His hand at work in your life when you submit and say “yes” to His perfect plan.

    You may wind up feeding people you never even get to meet this side of heaven through your willingness to be bread in His hands.

    “Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.”

    5+2=7
    Focus Forward Ministries & Hope International

    (C) Angie Knight 2019. All rights reserved.

    #aknightsjourney2019

    1 Comment | posted in Missions

    September 9, 2019

    A Door of Hope

    By Angie Knight

    Look at this door.

    Notice anything different?

    The first thing I see is a cross. Maybe you noticed the wood. The color. The size. Or the mesh on top to give ventilation to the home… but I see a cross. I see HOPE.

    I’ve written about hope before. When my sister was dying at the time her babygirl was just ten months old. Hope walked in on two legs and gave us answers that the other doctor didn’t have. Because he knew the patient. He knew she believed in a Higher Power. More than that— she believed and personally knew the God of the universe. He knew she had defeated the odds by her 13th birthday and now she was 40. And she lived another four years.

    I wrote about hope when my dear friend Connie Haile passed away and how she had lived a life full of hope and joy that bubbled over on people she met- no matter who you were or where you were. She carried Hope in her heart in the form of Jesus Christ.

    But on Saturday, after we had rested, refreshed ourselves with food, we journeyed to a place out in the countryside of Bolivia. In a Barrio called Santa Julia, there is a campamento adjoining a crop of brick and stucco houses — all with the same door. A door of Hope.

    This Hope I’m going to tell you about is a little different. There are children. Little children. Babies even. The world would tell them that their hope walked out. Or their hope died. Their hope for a family. Their hope for life.

    The cross that I see is the perfect emblem for this door of hope because it symbolizes what these homes were built for. To raise up children to become God following adults to serve others and lead them to Jesus Christ.

    This door represents the hearts that first dreamed a dream. Pastors David and Joel Morales took Jeff down a path knee high in weeds and grass and pointed out into the distance and shared the dream of bringing babies home that have no home. No parents. No family. No hope.

    Today, this dream is fast becoming a reality. On Saturday we saw the homes, walked through the door, envisioned by Pastor David Morales. His dream becoming a reality with little children running and squealing in delightful joy of being loved. Of having a home and finding Hope. A Hope found only in Jesus Christ.

    We would love to give you an opportunity to partner with us and them, become a chain that links across two continents to be a reinforcement of prayer warriors for these children. And if the Lord so leads you, to partner financially.

    We have so much more work to do here. So many dreams yet to be realized.

    When sickness sent me home early, Jeff traveled back and forth to complete some projects and even begin a new one. With the last project of Focus Forward Ministries now complete, we know the next one is in sight.

    Jeff and I had a plan. It was what we envisioned—but health issues seemed to bring an unwanted interruption. But God has something different. He sees the whole picture. So when we thought our plan had finished, it was like God was saying, “Oh hey, I just showed you the first part. The preparing part. What you think needed to be scrapped — is actually part of the bigger picture.”

    We have a week of kids crusades, with a team from Missouri —sharing the Gospel in the schools- playing games- loving on little ones and giving them a hope that is beautifully beyond anything they have experienced… found only in Jesus Christ.

    I plan to update you daily as internet cooperates. If you join us on Facebook then I’m sure you have already seen the pictures the team has been posting. We have already experienced a great move of God— 3 gave their hearts to Christ yesterday morning. What a JOY to serve Him and see lives changed!

    Stay tuned. More to come.

    There is hope. Please journey with us.

    To subscribe to this blog- a spot on the sidebar is placed just for you!

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    August 9, 2019

    Still Believing-There’s More Ahead

    By Angie Knight
    Still Believing

    There’s an old song found in the worn out yellow paperback book at Carmel Assembly of God Church, “I Still Believe” and I can right now hear Sis. Foxworth singing it to the glory of God and the top of her lungs. (I love memories like this.)

    “I know there’s power in the blood of Jesus, I know because I found that it is true. For when I came to Christ my sins confessing, He changed my life and made it all anew.

    I still believe there’s wonder working power in the blood–of the Lamb. Though some may doubt and turn aside I still believe it’s true, there’s wondrous power in the blood”.

    There is indeed power in the blood of Jesus. Saving power. Keeping power (as my Pa-Pa used to ask for in prayer). We have seen this in action.

    I’ve not written in a while, but not because I haven’t wanted to, but rather because I couldn’t. I never-in-a-million years knew the toll the things I’ve been through–would have on my body, mind and spirit. To be blunt: I’ve been a wreck. You probably didn’t expect that—I mean because we ALL know that the power of God is able to help us withstand the storms of life, but that doesn’t mean the storm won’t have an effect. As of right now, the healing in my body continues and I am stronger than I’ve been in a long time. (I’ve just passed the three year mark of being a cancer SURVIVOR!)

    The thyroid malfunction took us on an unexpected trip, but God is still faithful and is working daily–healing and restoring health and passion for all that He has called us to do. GOD is STILL on HIS Throne and HE’s still very active in our lives and we are still very fired up about missions!–Which brings me to the topic of THIS post!

    We are VERY soon headed back to a place we have loved from the beginning. It’s hard to explain. If you’ve never been on a mission trip–it’s probably hard to comprehend–but this land and these people still pull our heart strings (if our heart had strings).

    Jeff and I will share this trip with three amazing new friends that God has just blessed our lives with from Missouri, as well as two faithful mission-goers from home. One has been off for a few weeks cramming as much Spanish into her sweet self in order to communicate with the children and others that God puts into our path. And to be honest–WE can’t wait!

    It’s probably the smallest trip we’ve ever led, but we firmly believe that God has a big purpose for this trip –and we want to be a part of what He’s doing!

    As you know, we generally take suitcases full of school supplies. But when we moved to Bolivia, we learned so much. One important thing— it’s better for all kids to have the same type of supplies. Last year while living there, we bought supplies in country, thereby keeping everything for everyone uniform and equal. This year we decided it would be best do continue that. So, if you would like to contribute to this effort, we have made it as simple as possible.

    This is a kids crusade and we hope you still want to be a part of this. We are accepting any donations (none are too small!) so that we can buy the School supplies there. We have found a great store–and the owner gives us a discount (we attended church together in Bolivia!) and we love the idea of helping their economy-as well as the fact that it’s easier on the kids.

    So, if you want to be a part you can do this in several ways:

    1. www.focusforwardministries.com is our ministry website and has been since 2014 when the Lord began opening doors for us to do MORE. It is a tax deductible contribution you will get a receipt for at the end of the year. There’s a PayPal link on our page. We are a non-profit organization.
    2. You can mail us a check (any amount–no gift is too small–it will all make a difference). Our address: Focus Forward Ministries, Inc., Post Office Box 573, Marianna, FL. 32447. Again, you will receive a receipt at the end of the year for your generosity.
    3. Also, you can hand us a check anytime you see us–any of us. Jeff or myself, Chase and Shelly Curti (Sec/Treas) or Floyd and Sandi Aycock (VP). Mark it for the kids crusades in the memo portion. We are also accepting contributions for the Genesis Project (which enables us to help several children that the Lord has opened doors for us to sponsor their educational and medical needs in various ways).
    4. And lastly, but most importantly, you can pray. We spoke about this at every church we visited. It is critical. Just getting there we need prayer coverings. PLEASE…. I cannot stress this enough. If you will pray–for our team–covering us daily, the LORD will be glorified and the children will be blessed–you will have had an enormous part in this mission and this team!

    One more thing before I leave you, take some time and begin praying about next years trips. We would love to have you join us!

    If you would like to know more about the ministry, or would like to have us share in your church, we would be happy to! Just drop us a quick email or give us a call. Thank you again, for supporting us in the past, praying us through to what God has in store for the future!

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    February 5, 2019

    Purple Month Memories

    By Angie Knight

    It’s February 5, 2019. As this month approached, or actually, way before it began edging its way here, I had memories of my sister, Wanda popping up often. When my mother, or my sister, Aimee and I are together, or like a couple weeks ago while I was driving to Dothan alone…the list goes on. The holidays especially bring her closer to our minds and hearts.

    We celebrate purple month for her. For those of you who don’t know–Purple was her favorite color, she was born in February and she slipped quietly from this life in February 2008. She would have celebrated her 44th birthday –but God chose to give her a heavenly celebration instead.

    This morning, while I was having my quiet time with the LORD, a memory flooded back to my mind in a rush. (Please bear with me, as this is lengthy, but I wanted to share a sweet weekend with you.)

    In 2006, we loaded up my little maroon Isuzu with the ladies I love to get away with; my sisters, Aimee and Wanda, our mother, and her sister, Evielean. We dubbed our times together, “The Sisters Retreat”.

    No sooner had we reached Eufaula, Alabama, heading further north and we needed a potty break. Of course this was an excuse to actually dig around in the back for the “tea-cakes” that our aunt Evielean always baked and packed for us. (I’m telling you all of this so you actually FEEL the journey!)

    We struck gold under the direction of aunt Evielean and were soon munching on cookies and sipping on colas, driving to a sweet B & B in Georgia.

    We oohed and aahhed over the scenery, all the leaf colors and soon began to talk about things we wanted clarification on in the Bible. We actually had to call up one of the preachers in the family to answer a very important question that God would use on our retreat–and we sang and prayed.

    We were directed somehow to a passage in 2 Corinthians 4:1-16

     Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.  Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.  And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.  The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

    But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.  So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

    It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

    Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  (emphasis mine)

    c43b0-motheranddaughters

    What began to be just a retreat for us girls, turned into a God appointment. When we left home–we all prayed together and asked to LORD to show us things and surprises…this one was a triple surprise.

    That night, after a supper we had brought with us to prepare, we cleaned up and gathered around the fireplace. Each pulling in as close as possible. We shared portions of Scriptures from our current devotions, or a song that we had been listening to–and the Lord began to stir our hearts about something.

    We knew the host, Mr. Tom Ford, was very sick. The Lord laid it on our hearts to have prayer that night for him, anoint a handkerchief, and share a passage of scripture. It was this particular passage.

    The next morning, after breakfast, we moved over to the living room in the main house. Mrs. Martha had been preparing and serving and we had some light chit-chat, but we finally asked her if it would be okay if we prayed for Mr. Ford after breakfast. She told us he would love that.

    We had an absolutely scrumptious breakfast–and when we left the table, we all settled back into the living room–whispering reminders to one another of who would do what and say what–when Wanda said she wanted to share something too.

    Wanda was usually very quiet, but this particular morning, God has stirred her with a reminder that HE was in control. And that HE would give peace even in the hardest of situations. I had rarely heard her share her testimony– but she was willing to share whatever the LORD needed.

    After I read the scriptures and Wanda shared what the LORD had put on her heart, we sang. It was actually a song we learned on the way to the cabin. That too, was something God did.

    With lifted hands and tears streaming down his face, Mr. Ford was glimpsing something in the spiritual realm that I wish we all could have been privy to. But it was all for him that morning.

    I have a question for you: do you make yourself available for God to use anywhere and anytime? Even when it looks different than what you or I had planned…. ???

    As we celebrate this 5th day of February– I know and love the fact that God loves to use each one– and He especially loves it when we make ourselves available.

    We celebrate her faith — the purple we wear also signifies royalty… as believers we are sons and daughters of the King of all kings!

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    January 31, 2019

    Prayers Answered

    By Angie Knight

    A Personal Update from Jeff:

    We have much news to catch you up on—we apologize for the tardiness of this newsletter, but hope you will understand once you have read it fully.

    First though, we want to thank you for your support, both financial and prayerful.  Your prayers have been more effective than you can actually realize on this side of things.  I believe that when we get to heaven, God will show you exactly how your faithful prayers and encouragement kept us strong in the midst of some very draining struggles.  You have been amazing and we love you dearly! 

    IMG_20180722_120733.jpg

    The picture above was one Angie took when I was asked to preach at a church we were able to help build, as we partnered with two of our West Florida District Churches.  What an amazing time we had—seeing how the children had grown and we were thrilled when they remembered us being there for a week in 2014 to build.

    When you build a church—you are also building a community!  The house was full!

    As you may remember the year we itinerated, Angie had breast cancer surgery, six months of chemotherapy, followed by 36 radiation treatments (every day except weekends), which left her less than her physically strong self.  Her determination, however, was strong. She still testifies today of how the Holy Spirit was and is her constant Companion.

    After eight months in Costa Rica learning culture and beginner’s language, we came home for Visa preparations then left for the field—arriving in January of last year to our destination, Santa Cruz, Bolivia. We settled into a routine of home life— with visiting schools and preaching in churches as much as possible, while growing more accustomed to some of the differences in the culture.

    It may sound easy on screen or on paper but let me assure you—it was far from that.

    Now that we were in the place we had first begun ministering in 2011, the enemy launched more attacks.  Spiritual warfare began with a vengeance. 

    “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, agains mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”  

    Ephesians 6:12 NLT

    Angie called on various prayer warriors for specific prayers—and she continued her early morning time with God- praying for the LORD to continue to reveal our next steps.

    The medical crisis that she went through, taught her how critical it is for every believer to establish and keep time with God as a priority.  When I had to go to meetings with other pastors with my language limitations, I could trust she was home praying for me.

    Life changed again for us in July of last year, when she found another lump.  The enemy attacked full on with fear.  When she let me know what was going on, we began to plan for her to come home to see her doctors.  She arrived mid-August and I followed just a week later.  They ran tests, scans, and bloodwork.  Some of the scans had to be done 6 weeks apart because of the dye they put into her system.

    The lump was determined to be a fibrous cyst, which we give God praise for—but they found a thyroid issue that was causing many other things to go “haywire”,to use her term.  It’s enlarged, but no cancer has been found—again, we praise God!  They have started her on medication and are increasing it slowly.  She has to be monitored closely so that her doctor can get the levels right.

    I have been back and forth to Bolivia, completing a couple of different projects we had going at two of the schools we work closely with, but I’ve also had the privilege of working again in our district in needed areas after the hurricane.

    Angie’s doctor has recommended that she remain here for three more months to get her thyroid levels corrected (it was damaged during the radiation), and that will actually come to the closing of our current term in Bolivia.  Spending just 16 months of what we had planned to be a 24-month term was disappointing and unexpected by us, but it was fully known by God-and we have to remind ourselves of that.  We fully trust His hand in this situation.

    The national office has now changed our medical leave to a new stateside assignment to finish out this term, which we will gladly share with you in person- all that involves.   We are blessed to be part of the Assemblies of God–and the Latin America Caribbean work endeavoring to reach the unreached, helping to meet the needs of the many children in the schools (where we began working in 2012, in Don Lorenzo, Bolivia).

    We would like to ask that you please continue to pray for us both as we transition into what God has next for us—both of us desire to serve Him by serving others. 

    We want to thank those who are continuing to support us until we finish our current term in April, but we do understand for those of you who are unable to do so.  We both realize that many of you were hit hard by the hurricane, and we are praying for you—for God to bless and restore back to you all what the storm destroyed.

    Again, thank you from the bottom of our heart—we could not have begun this journey without you!  God is using you to make this possible for us to do more than we ever imagined!  Please let us know if you would like to have us come share anything in a brief window with your congregation—we would love to reconnect with you all!

    With love, deep appreciation and gratitude,

    Jeff & Angie 

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