Have you ever seen the sign that says, “Pardon the Dust”?, in a store when it is under a remodeling, but they are still open for business? Well, that is pretty much like my life. I won’t speak for Jeff, but he would likely say the same thing. My area is really dusty these days. More so (in my mind) than the cancer days.
I told a new friend this week that [language school] seemed to be designed to do what the chemo did….kill off things that doesn’t belong. Then we learned what the name of the school meant; in Spanish, cincel means to chisel. Appropriate, don’t you think? I think many of the new students have felt the sharp edge of the chisel this week.
We are on day 4 of classes and I will do my best to share enough, but not too much that you get cold feet if God is speaking to your heart about missions. But in reality, if God is speaking to you….there is no amount of things I could say that would scare you away. You are in it for the long haul. Just like us. Be advised though, the enemy won’t like your decision–just as he didn’t like ours–BUT GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL. Through everything!
Our days begin early–Jeff slipping into an altogether new routine here, and myself as well. We get up early (Jeff, often around 4:00). He has always been an early riser-but I think this place calls for even earlier–simply because such deep God conversations need to take place. And listening. Escuchen….to listen. Above the voices in my head, I am learning to listen more to the Holy Spirit when He gives a direction. “This might hurt….but it’s for your good.”
There, He sets me on the block. Chisel and hammer. Dust is flying. I am noticing some things in me that needs correcting. I need to be more sensitive. Not quick to judge or assume based on what my eyes see…but to listen. He blows His holy air on the form sitting still on the block. That’s me. The tears I shed based on what I feel, the weaknesses in me, wash away more of the dust. He is working to see His image in our lives….
That was like chemo and radiation. “This might hurt, you will feel many changes, but it’s for your good”…. I think God prepared me in some ways on HOW to look at things so that I would not crumble (quite so much).
I have two friends who, one just this week lost her daughter to cancer, and our cancer journey began approximately the same time, and another dear woman is losing her husband, even as I type, to cancer. And here I sit. Healthy–preparing for a work God has set before me…and I cannot explain even the least amount of the whys of that. But God’s plans are perfect and I will not try and understand HIS understanding for the Word says, it’s way beyond me.
We are grateful for our monthly supporters and daily prayer partners. YOU have no idea! When I wake up in the morning–I know someone is praying! All during the week, I trust and believe someone is still believing with us that God has much in store! And their support continues so that we may journey on.
Each day in class (so far) I have felt so close to tears at times because there is NO English spoken by the teachers. It is brain numbing. There, that’s the chisel again. Learn a new way. Open your heart, mind, ears and listen. Admittedly, I come home and go to the bathroom to let the tears fall. It’s a release. Don’t feel sorry for me, pray with us. We need to learn this. The culture, the language, the people. Once the tears are dry, I feel better.
I learned just yesterday, the best thing to do after class is go for a long walk. So, Jeff and I walked yesterday, about 8 blocks, mostly uphill, to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Let’s look at that miracle for a minute. UP HILL. The backstory of this is I finished my last round of radiation treatments that took place every single day for 6 weeks the WEEK before we left for Costa Rica. I hardly had energy to pack. I had beloved friends, one at a time, come almost every day to lend a hand with our packing. I couldn’t even “think” clearly from the residual effects of the chemo yet, here I was packing with help, and then just a week later arriving here.
The walkway to our apartment is such a steep downhill trip, that first day I was so afraid I would fall face first–but I didn’t. Sure, my knees ached afterwards, but look again at the miracle. YESTERDAY, we walked over 8 blocks one way mostly uphill. Of course I was sweating like a horse when we got there, but my mind was clear. And we did our little shopping, enjoying the air conditioned grocery store…then we had to carry our packages back…all 8 blocks. Thankfully, my precious husband carried the two stuffed bags and I carried the umbrella. It rains every day.
New things. Every day something new. A new experience, a new feeling, a fresh mercy from God. We are learning now to live without the air conditioner. I have the blessing of two fans that Jeff bought after we arrived. THAT is huge to me here.
I look at many things differently. The dust that is gathering at the base of this Sculptors stone will soon be blown away again, and He will look to see what else needs adjusting. Hammer will continue to strike and I can count on sitting in this spot, under His chisel until He feels it’s time. I’m done. I’m ready. Then, I’ll go Home. Not to an earthly home, but to my heavenly home. All the while the chiseling and hammering is happening, work is being done, through me and on me. He will use me however HE sees fit….just as He will YOU when you say “yes, LORD, I’m willing”.
In the meantime friends, please pardon the dust. He’s still working on me.
[We are very grateful for a new supporter this week! If you are interested in becoming a prayer partner or a monthly supporter–or BOTH, please feel free to visit our agwm site, www.tinyurl.com/sendjeffandangie]
© Angie Knight 2017. All rights reserved. All Photography © Angie Knight unless otherwise noted.