marriage – Jeff & Angie

Country Life Messages, faith, Family, Hope, Life, love, marriage, Missions, Reflection

Life and Blueberries

June 30, 2024June 30, 2024 A. Knight

You’ve heard the quote, “Life is like a bowl of cherries”, right? It’s actually from a song (I’ve never heard it) written by Lew Henderson in 1931 and actually written as “life is just a bowl of cherries”. Well, for us, life has been more blueberries.

Today, 42 years ago, we became husband and wife in Donalsonville, GA. Quite a unique story. It’s one for the records…pun intended, as we were married in the Radio Shack. It doesn’t exist anymore, but we do–by the grace and mercy of God.

You may think blueberries is an odd way to describe us. Well, let me tell you. You know when you are picking blueberries and you are picking fast–when you get home with your bowls and buckets of berries, and blue fingers, you dump them in the sink to give them a good rinsing…and you spy little leaves, and most likely some berries that aren’t quite ready…some that are “over-ready”. There is likely even a bug or two.

You remove the leaves and any bug. The green ones that snuck in there by accident have got to go. And you remove the ones that are downright squished. You’ve already decided on the jars for the jelly or jam. They’ve been washed and prepared. I can actually still see this going on in my granny’s old kitchen with it’s unleveled floor. She would have her handmade apron on and the hot kitchen would smell like sweet berries and pie. There would be a box fan sitting on the floor working as hard as it could to pull the hot June air out of the kitchen, only to circulate it right back in through the open window screens. Another box fan propped in the dining room window pulling air out to the hot Alabama summer.

The summer of blueberries I remember most vividly was the one in ’82. We drove up to the old log homeplace with it’s huge oak trees shading the road and house, and we parked near her pale green Monte Carlo. No one lived there except birds, snakes, mice and I’m sure some other critters. But there were two or three large blueberry “trees” in the back yard. They were actually bushes, but you had to use a ladder to get the ones from the top.

I can still see that little white haired granny of mine, standing on the ladder, with her sister, Votylee down below holding on to the ladder. Two little old ladies who had no business doing that–but as they say, “somebody had to do it”, or there would be no jelly. I called out to her as we rounded the corner of the house. We talked very briefly before I came right to the point. “Granny? Guess what?”

“What”, was her instant reply, in her little granny voice. “We got married today”.

“Whaaat?” This “what” was more drawn out in disbelief. She peered down at us, holding hands under the blueberry bush. She loved Jeff to pieces. He was a fishing buddy. She knew we were dating–but she was surprised at the suddenness.

I’m sure she asked a few questions, we answered and told her of our love for one another and then left her to her berry picking. When my life had fallen apart–Granny was who I moved in with. Later, I moved in with my cousin and we shared rent in an old house very near Granny’s.

Our life has had some leaves. It’s had some green berries that were not ready to be picked–and some that were over ripe. But in all the 42 years of our lives, we have made many beautiful jars of blueberry jelly (not really jelly, just a sweet life).

We’ve had to choose to discard the leaves and berries not fit for use in the jelly–and keep (in our memories) the best ones for jelly-making. There were times, if we both sat down with you face-to-face, we would tell you how hard it was. Very few people in our lives know the depth of the difficulties. But they also know the commitment–and the dedication that we have in our love for one another, and our family.

I asked Jeff last night if he wondered at times if we would make it. He quickly said, “no”. But he knew as well as I did, we both wondered in the extremely hard times. But God.

We chose God first. We put Him first. Yes, there were times we slipped and allowed other things or occupations, people, events, circumstances to overstep the boundaries; but we realized quickly what was happening and the destruction coming, and we lined things back up in the correct order: God, one another, our children, our extended family, church/jobs, then everything else.

It takes a daily exercise of purposeful love. We are much older than the 26 and 20 year old that we were. Our love has advanced to a strength that is what it is today ONLY because of God being first in our lives. Things aren’t always pretty. Days aren’t always fully of joy and giggles. Tears have ran more times than I would care to count… but the love and peace we have today is a testament to God’s faithfulness to His own.

We aren’t rich in money–but we are wealthy in love. We’ve had times where it was hard to buy groceries and pay all the bills. In this economy even now–there are struggles, just like everyone else. But the economy should have no bearing on the love inside the hearts and four walls of a home you build as husband and wife. If you only love when things are going well–you are in for trouble.

So, on our 42nd anniversary, we want to encourage you younger people… who are “thinking” of marriage. If God is not first in your life NOW, before marriage, it will be hard to make sure He stays first later.

If you are already married, and life just has more leaves and green berries, take the time to reorganize things. Prioritize your life in the order God meant it to be. Don’t compare your husband or your wife to another person. We are all individuals. You married them knowing who they were. What you loved about them in the beginning is still there. Find it. Stop wishing things were better–be intentional about the days you have NOW. Only you, your spouse, and God, can fix what’s wrong. Don’t be too proud to seek help. Christian counseling is available. (I’m not a counselor, but I do know a great one!).

It won’t work if only one is trying. This has to be a joint effort of 100% + 100%. It won’t be perfect. But God will be with you. If you aren’t willing to try–then I’m truly sorry for your spouse. And I will pray for you–both.

Get in the Word. Pray.

If you have devotions together, fantastic. If you don’t, it’s okay. BUT have devotional time with God yourself. The rest will come in time. Pray for each other. Make that a priority in your daily devotions.

You can still make the best blueberry jelly or jam in the world–if you remove the things that have no business in the jelly jar.

And don’t forget to add lots of sugar 😉

Photo credit: Blueberries, free from Pixabay.com

Bottom photo credit: Connie Haile, photographer extraordinaire.

Devotion, faith, Family, marriage, prayer, spiritual warfare, Trials

Gear-UP

June 21, 2024June 21, 2024 A. Knight

Our oldest grandson has some favorite things: Wrestling, Marvel Movies, family, and a good banana split. Almost in that order. With him being autistic, I’ve had to learn a new approach on many things in our lives, but especially change when it comes to him. We stick to a routine as much as possible for his sake.

This past Saturday we watched a Marvel Movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier. When something is said that catches my ear–I pay attention and generally pause the movie and write it down. I did so last….. (To read the REST of the story, run over to my personal blog)

faith, marriage, Missions

Trust-God.

June 18, 2016June 18, 2016 A. Knight

There was a week in Bolivia we spent without social media. Can I just tell you it was great–with one problem: I couldn’t let my mother know or “see” by way of pictures (unless we went to town) that all was well. She had to trust God. Wow.

I have been reminded of the years we spent raising our children that THAT is the ultimate thing to do–and then keep doing and pass it down to our children! TRUST GOD.

This morning, I was reminded of a time of major trust in God when I was a young mother myself. Jeff was at work on the oil rig somewhere off the coast of Texas, and I was alone with our little girl getting ready for church one Sunday morning.

We lived on a dirt road out in the country–the nearest Piggly Wiggly was about 12 miles away. Walmart was just beginning to appear in small stores across the nation, but the nearest one was about 25 miles away. We lived in the only house in Alabama on our dirt road because the nearest neighbor was across the Florida line. Sounds deep wooded doesn’t it? Actually, it was only a mile to the nearest house.

It was a normal Sunday morning with the rushing of getting ready for Sunday School–me and my one little girl, and it was pouring rain. It had rained all night and since our dirt road was clay and known for its slipperiness when it rained, I was already planning the best way to get out and get to church. S-l-o-w-l-y. Very slowly. In low gear.

I was in the bathroom, having completed the dressing and hair-bowing of my girl, and almost ready myself when I hear “kah-thunk”– then a scream. I ran from the bathroom to find Tiffany in the floor beside the dresser with a huge goose-egg already forming on her temple. I have to say it scared me to death! I immediately called my mother-in-law. She was nearest to me. I told her what happened and after I put two and two together I felt like I knew what Tiffany was doing. Jumping on the bed and watching herself in the mirror. I mean, what little girl doesn’t like to do that? Any other time I might have spanked her or at least scolded her for jumping on the bed but that morning–all I could do was hold her and pray and cry.

I was holding a cold cloth to her head and imagining the worst when Grandma, Mitch and Jeff’s uncle J.L.pulled up. I was surprised to see him, but Grandma explained that as she was coming this way, knowing the road was bad, she stopped at Whitaker Methodist Church, as she saw him getting the church unlocked and thought he could be of assistance. He had served his country in wartime and she knew he had some sort of medical something–surely.

My memory is vague on what else she said, but she came and looked at her and immediately said, “Well, I think she will be fine”. Uncle JL looked at her eyes and observed the knot on her temple and wanted her to let him hold her, but of course, no one but Mama could hold her now. They both said that since it was swollen on the outside- it was better. I should watch her closely and keep the cold cloth on-and she should be okay.

Then they went on to church- and I know – without a shred of a doubt that both, New Teamon Baptist Church Ladies Sunday School class, and all of Whitaker Methodist Church prayed that morning for our little girl. I didn’t feel compelled to rush to the hospital- I felt compelled to pray. My mother-in-law didn’t feel compelled to urge me to rush her to the hospital, she was compelled to trust God.

The rain had stopped, we finished getting ready for church, I packed a bag with extras to stay at my mother’s house that day after church and loaded the truck and we headed off to church. I did keep an eye on her all day–but I kept a solid conversation in my heart with God too. And, before we got to Sunday School, the swelling was noticeably lessening.

Recently, Jeff and I left Bolivia-what will soon be home to us, and saw the needs-and the way they trust God. There is no alternative for them. There is no alternative for us.

Sometimes it is necessary to seek expert medical attention–but when we are faced with circumstances that are so remote –we trust God. He has never failed us! He will not fail YOU!

When was the last time you trusted God? Explicitly. Fully. Totally?

The sweetest and best feeling comes from fully trusting God–Who saves, heals, and delivers. Does that mean I am exempt from troubles? Not at all. As a matter of fact, we spent many times in an emergency room with both of our girls at different times over the years of raising them. It means my Source of strength comes from God alone–and no matter what comes my way–I DEPEND ON HIM to see me through…no matter where that journey takes me/us.

So, to get back to the earlier statement that my mother had to trust God while we were gone… she has done it all my life. Trusted God. She taught all her children to do the same thing. While we were in Bolivia, she couldn’t see what we were doing, with the exception of the two days we were in town at a wifi connection and I posted pictures to facebook. All the other days she got up wondering what we were doing–praying for our safety and leaving us in God’s hands. She reminded me this week–that’s her plan for when we move to Bolivia. “I will have to trust God, Angie”. She didn’t say it like she had an alternative, but that it was just a fact. A way of living life. Trusting God.

When you can’t see the road ahead–or what’s around the corner…Trust God. I needed to know how –she provided that example-and I passed it on.

Today, I am passing it on to you. I have no clue what’s ahead for us, for this nation–or the church…but this I can do: Trust in God. icecream

faith, Life, love, marriage

Two or Three

November 16, 2015 A. Knight

I love it when God does this:

As I was praying this morning for various needs that I was aware of, a blogger friend that I met several years ago in person at a She Speaks Conference came to my mind. Over and over her name kept calling out to me, as if to say, pray for me. So I did. From the bed where I lay, I began to whisper a prayer and asked God to meet the needs in her life–to shelter her, cover her, bring healing, peace, whatever her need might be- I didn’t know, but HE did. And that’s all that mattered.

Before long though, I had to get up. A feeling of “get alone with God” just kept me awake. So I rose and walked the few yards from our camper to our house. (Bathroom work being done and since we only have one, we need to sleep where there is one handy in the middle of the night.)

The house was quiet and warm. I put on coffee and turned on a couple of lamps and I felt The Holy Spirit with me. Some old fears have tried to creep up on me–from long years ago, but I push them aside, settle myself and begin to pray. The Lord brought two more to my mind to pray for and so they were added to my invisible prayer list.

A fraction of a verse came to me while praying, “two or more gathered in my name”…. I almost felt like maybe He had woke someone else to join me in this prayer vigil for these that I had no clue what their needs were…He has before. I love how He surprises me- especially when it comes to how He works in our prayer lives.

Just as I finished praying and writing some prayer thoughts in my journal, I opened my “God Calling”….and what do I see (this is a surprise, because I hadn’t looked at it in many days–and actually it was in the camper and at the last minute, I reached for it in the dark and tucked it in my bag before I left for the house), but this verse:

“Where two or three are gathered together in My name there am I in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20

I smiled–and thought how amazing God is. There is no way I could ever describe all the times He has done similar things –but suffice it to say, it has been many -and this morning I had asked for a rejuvenation in my prayer life–a constant awareness of His presence and He showed me after He told me.

The WORD is a constant awareness of His presence–

HIS power–

& His purpose for us.

We attended a wedding this weekend–it was beautiful! We attended one just a few weeks ago as well that was just as beautiful and the presence of God was so REAL in both that I could sense the Holy Spirit there.

As I thought about this verse this morning, the picture from both weddings came to my mind of the minister (who was also the dad), as he placed his hand on the shoulders of the bride and groom to pray over them.

Three. Where there are two, The Holy Spirit is the third person uniting in prayer with us–for us–to our Father for the needs in our lives or the needs of others.

I am so thankful to know that no matter what my needs, where I am, the distance I have traveled–HE is there. And He can and will wake someone up to pray for me when I am in need. I may never know who or when, but I believe and TRUST in His healing-saving-grace filled power!

faith, Life, love, marriage

Happy Anniversary-to My Love.

June 30, 2015June 30, 2015 A. Knight

You started this morning with “Endless Love”….the very song that we claimed as “our song” 33 years ago.

I didn’t wear a floor length white gown…You didn’t wear a tux. We didn’t have all the bells and whistles of a big cathedral…but tucked inside the heart of us, was a steadfast-strong love. A love that could endure hardship– the kind that would last years. There were times it was so hard I began to try and figure out which of us broke the mirror. Neither of us. It was not a run of bad luck because a broken looking glass–it was just life stuff. And it happens to everyone at some point.

But we never went hungry. You saw to that. I cooked–what you provided (even though we had chicken legs for every meal over a week) –you always said, “thanks-I enjoyed it” (Do people still say that?) –and we shared our heart with our Father–and were thankful for the two best and dearest blessings of life, our baby girls. And God saw us “through” each and every trial.

I told Aimee this week that of all the trials that had come our way, God had always saw us through. He had never removed Himself from our situation–no matter how tough it might have been.

When you tell someone our “story” of how and where we married, I smile inside–because they really have no clue. Young adults who are now planning those amazing weddings –[with the glitter and candlelight]– I hope they realize without God as the center of their marriage–AND the center focus of each one’s own life, their marriage may not survive the holocaust against the sanctity of holy matrimony in the coming years (even as of this week).

We don’t live in Mayberry…

I hold dear and am so jealous to maintain our love and the special bond that we hold sacred. There are moments in our lives etched in my brain. Like this morning when you handed me your phone to play this song and said you were trying to get it to facebook but was having trouble. And moments when you held our babies. And our grandbabies. And the morning that the mouse had chewed my favorite skirt that my mother made me and I cried and you pulled me onto your lap and I believe you would have shot the mouse…

Sure, like any couple, there have been tough times–times when the love wasn’t burning with passion–but we choose to remember and hold onto the precious times and learn from mistakes of the past. It’s an incredulous expression you get from those that you tell, “Angie and I have never had an argument”… I want to even laugh now, because while I know it’s true–we have a certain gift from God in that. I quickly assure them, “It’s not that we’ve never had a disagreement–or that I’ve never had my feelings hurt–or that neither of us has ever been mad at the other”… we have. All of that. But it’s what we choose to do. We talk our way through it when the time is right…and the temperaments are calm–and after God has been sought.

[I want to say to anyone reading and you have just gasped at the thought of not “giving them a piece of your mind”…honey, give your mind to Christ. If you start handing out pieces to your spouse every time they make you upset–you’ll have none left in a few years–]

I am so NOT perfect. Even after 33 years– I still mess things up. I still burn cookies and pizza because I get caught up in something else. And I’m glad that after 33 years– we are just as much in love as the day we said “I DO!” in front of God, our 3 witnesses, the Justice of the Peace–in the Radio Shack. (I guess that will give folks something to talk about!) LOL.

When we renewed our vows on our 5 year anniversary and took communion with our then Pastor Wayne Fussell, I walked out feeling just as married as I had before–but there was a deeper sense of commitment–that would be needed in the coming years. God has been INCREDIBLY awesome to knit us together as one.

A side note to couples– pray for one another. If you don’t you won’t make it. That’s just the truth.

When Guy Tatum gave the “Band of Brothers” their new “One Year Bible” and encouraged them to “pray for their wives” (I know this not because Jeff told me [there’s a sacred code of honor among this prayer group of men], but because it showed up in our lives), it made an impact on our marriage–in our home–MOST OF ALL, in ME! My “security” level went through the roof–because Jeff took the time each morning to hold me and pray for me. And if by chance I left before he was able to get back home to pray (he left for his camp work around 6:00 each morning), then he would call me as I drove to work. He prayed, I drove, I cried, and I praised God for him. And I GREW spiritually. Hey–it doesn’t have to be a long prayer–just ask God to bless them and keep them safe! Start there! Ask God to protect their mind from the enemy attacks–I can promise you this–there is an enemy out there who wants to destroy all marriages that God has put together–and the enemy starts with insecurity in the heart and home.

Yes, our actions do speak louder than our words!

If you want a marriage that lasts…finding the one God has created JUST FOR YOU is first on the list of to-do’s before the I-Do’s. You won’t know by trying them all…you will know by waiting on God and praying. 2) Put God FIRST. 3) PRAY TOGETHER. It’s the cement in your love. You could have the most passionate love–but it will not be that way in 50 years…I mean face it–you will AGE. And aging shows up. 🙂 What you lay as the foundation of your marriage in the early years, will carry you through the later years. If your spouse is your best friend–you will enjoy life, love and marriage a whole lot more. To the fullest!

And the final thing that will hold your heart, home and marriage secure: Put God FIRST. I know I repeated that one–but God is the only one who knows and does what is best for each one of us….when my honey has hurt my feelings–I tell God. When I have made him aggravated…I know he tells God. Because it is the Holy Spirit who softens my heart–and it is the Holy Spirit that helps Jeff see my side. Not that my side is the right side. Jeff often maintains his view, but at least he can see where I’m coming from and he can better understand. See? It’s God who holds the manual for marriage….and it’s The Bible.

I gave all of that for free…call it Jeff and Angie Marital Advice 101. What I give my darling man, is all of me for the rest of this earthly life. God is first– and I’m thankful that He gave me you. He knew just who I would need to lead me further spiritually–and who would love me for all my days….the young vibrant and fun days–as well as these “wee bit older” and hot flashin’ days. You are my dearest-bestest-friend and I promise to love you and bless and cherish you–till death do us part.

You are my –Endless Love….