It’s here. Not the BiGgEsT day mind you, but it’s a doozie. (The biggest day for us would be “leaving day”.)
If you want me to be “real”, I really wondered if this day would come, OR, if God had another plan…a plan for us to serve the people He burdened our hearts for in another way…. For we know without doubt–that He has called us to these precious people to share Christ–and serve Him.
But here we are on the brink of it now–finally! Commissioning Service at Central AG in Springfield, MO. Tomorrow.
We all know what “commission” means, but for this blog–I wanted to share something specific, so here is dictionary.com’s rendition of commission:
Jeff and I have put ink to paper. Solidifying our commitment to what God has called us to. I took a picture of him signing–my friend asked me if I wanted her to take a picture of me signing–I shook my head, no. It’s permanently sealed on my heart.
Sealed even before we arrived at this day. It happened in the preparation for this day.
I wish I knew the exact moment the first domino fell for this calling–for surely there have been moments that I felt things move in such a pivotal way that whatever I was doing at the time, or felt in a moment of time–was in preparation for this and possibly caused the course of my life to get into His alignment.
Time after time, dominoes have fallen–in line with this course…with this commissioning.
You have been commissioned for your calling. Did you know that?
If you’re mom, it happened when that little line turned blue–or pink. It’s been so long I have no idea what color they turn any more.
For whatever your job is, the commissioning took place when you said “yes, I’ll take the job”, and clocked in. It’s serious business.
You have just said, “Yes sir, or yes mam, I intend to be at my duty for the hours you have chosen for me to work, and I will perform all my duties to the very best of my ability, shirking nothing given, and I will uphold company policy and even be an encourager along the way”.
I added that encouraging part…because I think every job is easier if you have some encouragers hired.
I have no idea what the commissioning message will be about tomorrow evening–but this I know…tears will flow.
Emotions will run rivers down the cheeks of every single missionary that takes that stage.
It has taken a lot of faith to push through at each road block.
Jeff and I both have been to our prayer closets on countless occasions –to make sure we were still headed in the right direction. Once He gave His holy nudge or nod that, indeed we were, we plowed on ahead.
Rough terrain and often rocks caused me, more than once to pause and breathe and even cry out in the anguish of it all….but we pressed on.
I remember one particular painful day–forms had been filled out until I had nothing left. Our personal history had been written and revisited and re-written because I had left something off–and I was a complete mess. If you had paid us a visit and looked at me–you would have wondered, “who died?” It was intense.
This day– I remember typing the words in an email to one of the precious admin assistants–who all have been amazing through the whole process–but on this day– I had reached that limit.
My words to her were, “if they need anything else, tell them to call “so & so…they know my whole life story, but I just can’t write any more….I’m done”. I wanted to say, “stick a fork in me–I’m done”, but I held that one in.
I know they need every jot and tittle of our lives because they need to know, for the sake of the mission and ministry, exactly WHO they are sending–and WHO will be representing them–and God. It’s critical. It’s vital. But for me–that day–it was too much. I was spent.
I turned off the computer, turned off the lamp, scooted the chair back to the dining table to show myself that I was done and went to the bathroom…to pray.
My tears were hot and fast and unstoppable as I knelt down at the tub and in gulps and gut wrenching cries began to sob– “I can’t do more, God. This is too hard.”
Just as I was telling Him how hard this was, He brushed my shoulder with His presence and asked me in my spirit, “Are they worth it?”
He immediately reminded me of His own sacrifice. His own blood….His own hardship….and I felt such shame. Of course they are worth it. “Yes, Lord, they are worth it”.
I knew then, in that moment I would indeed fill out a million more forms or answer a million more emails with questions–because I knew He would be right beside me–giving me strength….
We have sat through sessions this last week to instruct us on travel safety. This week, sessions have involved every thing imaginable to help you get to the field, how to keep your heart pure, how to keep your mind focused, and how to fill out all the forms (*grin*).
Tomorrow is a BiG day. And we are ExCiTeD!
We’ve heard testimonies this week that I hope I never forget…and God has reminded me–as He was with them–as He was with Abraham–Moses–Joshua…so He will be with us. Every step of the way.
So–as you go about your day tomorrow–it would be awesome if you would whisper a prayer for us…we have support to raise and a budget to raise before we can get to where we are going for the next 2 years. And after that? Who knows what God will do?
Whatever He does–we are on board. His missionaries to do our part in the Great Commission–Going wherever He is sending.
Jesus came near and spoke to them, “I’ve received all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything that I’ve commanded you. Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age.” Matthew 28:18-20 CEB
© Angie Knight 2016. All rights reserved.
Photograph © Angie Knight 2016. All rights reserved.