For the past several days my mind has wandered. Does yours do that?
My mind wandered to what I would have been doing yesterday and today, had “circumstances” not changed the plans of life. I would have boarded a plane for Indianapolis. Then another plane for “Elsewhere”. Remember?
But things happen, beyond our control. And yesterday, when I would have been traveling, I sat listening to Him shush me. I didn’t whine. But I did do some wondering…and wandering.
After making contact with the trip organizer from Mission of Mercy, I became settled in my spirit. But do you know what crazy me thought as my mind wandered? (Wild imagination.) I thought that perhaps I had missed a crucial e-mail somewhere along the way, and low and behold the trip was back on. I could even see myself running around trying to get my bags packed in such a rush, that I literally brought on a pure HOT-hot flash. Just by uncontrolled imaginations.
I hadn’t missed an e-mail. The trip is still paused. As it should be right now. God knows when the time will be right. Not us. Certainly not me!
Every morning of 2011, I have sat with a cup of coffee, my open Bible and Oswald Chambers, “My Utmost For His Highest”. Sometimes, I pull it back out at night. To chew some more. There are times, my mind just can’t wrap around the complete thought—but as the day progresses, and I think more on the words—it will come to me.
There is always a message for me. Generally, a timely message wrapped up in the words trailing down the page, like a vine—or like The Vine?
Jeff and I have made some decisions, that truthfully, came to us hard to act on. Months of prayer. Many days of fasting. Then came the decision time. We both knew—in the deep part of our hearts—yet that doesn’t make it easy.
But wait, did anyone say that following Christ was supposed to be “easy”. That all decisions made would please everyone? That all decisions made would be pain free?
On the contrary. Each time I tried to figure out a way to have “my way” and His way—did nothing but bring more pain. Until I stepped aside and let Him do the leading. See there is no world where we have OUR way while trying to follow Christ.
There has to be a place in our life of leaving.
Leaving our old life—our own desires—our ways—I have learned submission in the past year like I never imagined. Do I have it down pat? I don’t think so. But I recognize my own selfish attitude quickly and turn it over to Him. Again. And again.
So, with the March wind blowing—we march on…following Him. Where’s He leading? I’m not sure. Maybe Jeff has seen a glimpse. Maybe not. Either way, I trust Him.
Are you marching somewhere?
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