Monthly Archives: September 2019

A Continual Faith

One morning a several years ago, as I drove to work, the fog was so thick….you’ve heard the term “thick as pea soup?”—this was thicker. But as I cautiously drove, these thoughts came pouring in my heart. And believe it or not– I grabbed a pen and wrote scribbled them down.

Faith in the Fog

When you can’t see where you’re going,

You don’t know what’s ahead,

You put your hands out to touch-

And suddenly you dread.

At first sight you wondered why,

And other questions pile right on.

The answer’s always fleeting,

and you never feel at home.

But You keep going.

With arms reaching out,

To what you know in your heart, there’s no room for doubt.

His heart He will reveal- maybe not today,

but rest assured you will see it- all along the way.

© Angie Knight

Jeremiah 29:12-13 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Circumstances happen daily that test our faith. And as long as we are alive -it will continue to do so.

I’ve been in the “testing place” before. So have you. But if you haven’t yet– hang on child– the Teacher always has a test- and sometimes before all the material has been covered.

Sometimes it feels like a pop-quiz. And I’m totally unprepared.

But what I’ve learned is -He always supplies a Helper.

For. Each. Test.

Yesterday marked a reason for celebration as I had my follow up yearly mammogram after having been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in August of 2016.

I’ve never loved the word “normal” as much as I did yesterday when it came through a text message from the hospital barely an hour later. I rapidly sent out the same message to my sweet Jeff and my girls. They rapidly replied with “praise God!”

This time three years ago, I had begun chemo and Jeff had cut my hair down shorter than his, because it began coming out in small clumps and I didn’t want to wake up one morning with half of it on my pillow.

Enter: Insecurity at it’s highest.

When that diagnosis came it was unexpected. A fog around our lives seemed to kind of settle.

What we thought was God’s plan–seemed to be slipping a bit from our fingers. We thought.

We had a timeline and manner in which we thought things would be done in– an orderly fashion. You know– like you’re told to exit a burning building in an orderly fashion.

We thought, as we were working on becoming debt free, that we could do what needed to be done – because of course God had set this in motion by planting this desire firmly in our hearts… so what could possibly go wrong– right?

At times like this– when WE think we know what we’re doing and it even seems doable— God shakes things up with a few impossibilities– I think, just to see if we will stay the course or abandon ship. When the impossibilities of the financial issues (SUPER THICK FOG) that arose with all this– it would look virtually IMPOSSIBLE. But again– God had a plan.

We thought — when we heard the news of “cancer” that the fog was too thick now to continue. But… we needed to only remember that the One who called us had HIS timeline that was different than ours….

We took our concerns to the LORD and He assured us the plan had not changed. We would follow His direction without hesitation.

We proceeded.

Toward the end of my chemotherapy treatments– A new challenge presented itself. I realized my port would have to be flushed every few weeks.

  • As MUCH as I hate needles– and cringe at the thought of this– I sucked it in and we trained (we as in Jeff) to be able to handle the flushing of my chemo port while in Costa Rica. We (he) practiced stabbing me in the chest with the long needle, and we (totally me), practiced not panicking and not crying (too much) over all this trauma.
  • That smile on my face was as pasted on as I could manage. No joke. These were some scary days for me. Battles at night in my mind- as the devil continued to taunt me… and every day I welded my sword as I wrote and prayed and read scripture. Every. Single. Day. And I still do. Because the devil still fights.
  • I never realized how much I dreaded the tests and results until it was over yesterday and I felt like I had just had the vice grip released from my heart and mind. I felt free.

    We STILL believe God is unfolding new things for us each day.

    We still believe we walked in His perfect timing in leaving for the field one short week after the final radiation treatment. We may not understand why it all happened like it did– but we believe He planned it all and allowed the things that did because it would eventually work for our good and His glory. Somehow. This is firm in my heart.

    This is the part that’s not foggy. This is clear.

    Once again we are following His steps without knowing exactly what He’s doing. We feel an anticipation in the air and our hearts– and we know Focus Forward Ministries has some big dreams yet to dream… and we are willing and ready.

    We are grateful for every prayer partner and supporter– please keep praying. Keep believing IN MORE.

    I see the fog lifting….

    © 2019 Angie Knight. All rights reserved.


    We are 5+2 (Loaves & Fish)

    “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

    “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

    And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.”
    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭14:14-17, 19-21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    This past week we saw the power of 5+2=7.

    I am usually back and forth between the construction team and the crusade team, taking pictures and recording the journey in words and pictures. But it has been a long while since I’ve been able to do that.

    Blogging the mission journey was a big passion of mine. But with everything that has happened in the last couple of years, I had my doubts that I could feel and participate in this passion again.

    This was the smallest team we have ever brought—BUT as always, God knew what He was doing. This was the absolute perfect size to do what we were able to do. Any more and it wouldn’t have worked exactly as it did.

    After every team, we’ve always said: “this was the best mission team and trip ever.” However— this time God allowed us to share with this small group some more personal things that we are blessed to be able to be a part of in Bolivia. We were able to visit the homes of the seven young girls we now sponsor—with the help of each of our own supporters. YOU make it possible for these little ones to receive an education- empowering them with the resources necessary to be productive citizens in their country- and as they are also given the opportunity to know Jesus Christ— their world takes on a whole new perspective and they can see there is something for them to do as well. We believe they will also become givers and not just receivers.

    Through the anointing of the Holy Spirit, our source of strength- we were able to greet and minister to over 2,500 people. The two Sunday services, Jeff preached and Pastor Tim Russell preached, then Jeff preached again with Dr. Deborah Willis sharing her amazing testimony in an older teen session, two spot-on messages, over 2,000 children, and over 500 adults, young adults and teenagers. Visiting four schools each day- adding in 3 new public schools this trip— all with invitations to come back again soon, Heather Jordan, Kristin Stevens, and Chase Curti ministering daily, along with the rest of us, we saw exactly what happened when Jesus broke the bread and blessed the meal to feed the 5,000+. We were the packed lunch. We were the little to feed many. He is our Source and we were the bread and fish He used as supply for others this week.

    Just like the disciples— we may have all wondered. We had all seen larger teams in action. But we had yet to witness what God would do with a group whose hearts and souls were steadfast into the mission as these.

    What the devil, through cancer, couldn’t do in 2016-17, he tried another tactic to make us stop leading- stop ministering— stop working for the LORD. And I soon saw that he would stop at nothing. He set out to actually destroy us. Both.

    I left this country last year in a very broken place in my life. The enemy uses whatever he can; circumstances, other people, health, and intense spiritual warfare to stop us from proceeding with God’s call on our lives.

    I remember distinctly one morning when we lived in Bolivia, I had been in our office/prayer room for a longer than usual time that morning- heart so heavy— emotionally hurting for what I had no control over, I stood in front of my closet and made the simple daily statement: “what am I going to wear today?” On top of my question it seemed, the answer; “your armor”.

    Later that same day I received a text message from my sister that she was praying for is and she added a passage from Ephesians:

    “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”
    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:10-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    We are the ones who have to go into action. Yes, God is always working on our behalf— but He needs our submission- willingness and obedience. “Put on…. take up…..” actions by us— not Him.

    I had to choose way earlier than when we first began to itinerate to submit. We both did.

    Then when difficult things came our way, like sickness, and a financial mountain that it brought with it, we had to keep on choosing to remain on the path set before us— even though we had no clue what God was doing.

    Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us the HE knows the plans He has for us. And I have clung to that fact that He knows— therefore in trusting Him— I have to be okay with not knowing. (Although I admit at times it could drive me nuts if I let it.)

    He has shown me— it’s in the breaking that the blessing comes forth. As a matter of fact, often it is the breaking of the shell of what we think we are supposed to be— that’s when the fruit is exposed. So maybe…. just maybe, what we thought we were supposed to be was not exactly what He had planned….maybe it was just the precursor or -maybe it was way-way more. I’m ready. Or, should I say, we’re ready.

    This— this trip brought some healing in unexpected ways.

    If you feel broken and unusable— you are in the perfect place to be used… just yield. Watch His hand at work in your life when you submit and say “yes” to His perfect plan.

    You may wind up feeding people you never even get to meet this side of heaven through your willingness to be bread in His hands.

    “Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.”

    5+2=7
    Focus Forward Ministries & Hope International

    (C) Angie Knight 2019. All rights reserved.

    #aknightsjourney2019


    A Door of Hope

    Look at this door.

    Notice anything different?

    The first thing I see is a cross. Maybe you noticed the wood. The color. The size. Or the mesh on top to give ventilation to the home… but I see a cross. I see HOPE.

    I’ve written about hope before. When my sister was dying at the time her babygirl was just ten months old. Hope walked in on two legs and gave us answers that the other doctor didn’t have. Because he knew the patient. He knew she believed in a Higher Power. More than that— she believed and personally knew the God of the universe. He knew she had defeated the odds by her 13th birthday and now she was 40. And she lived another four years.

    I wrote about hope when my dear friend Connie Haile passed away and how she had lived a life full of hope and joy that bubbled over on people she met- no matter who you were or where you were. She carried Hope in her heart in the form of Jesus Christ.

    But on Saturday, after we had rested, refreshed ourselves with food, we journeyed to a place out in the countryside of Bolivia. In a Barrio called Santa Julia, there is a campamento adjoining a crop of brick and stucco houses — all with the same door. A door of Hope.

    This Hope I’m going to tell you about is a little different. There are children. Little children. Babies even. The world would tell them that their hope walked out. Or their hope died. Their hope for a family. Their hope for life.

    The cross that I see is the perfect emblem for this door of hope because it symbolizes what these homes were built for. To raise up children to become God following adults to serve others and lead them to Jesus Christ.

    This door represents the hearts that first dreamed a dream. Pastors David and Joel Morales took Jeff down a path knee high in weeds and grass and pointed out into the distance and shared the dream of bringing babies home that have no home. No parents. No family. No hope.

    Today, this dream is fast becoming a reality. On Saturday we saw the homes, walked through the door, envisioned by Pastor David Morales. His dream becoming a reality with little children running and squealing in delightful joy of being loved. Of having a home and finding Hope. A Hope found only in Jesus Christ.

    We would love to give you an opportunity to partner with us and them, become a chain that links across two continents to be a reinforcement of prayer warriors for these children. And if the Lord so leads you, to partner financially.

    We have so much more work to do here. So many dreams yet to be realized.

    When sickness sent me home early, Jeff traveled back and forth to complete some projects and even begin a new one. With the last project of Focus Forward Ministries now complete, we know the next one is in sight.

    Jeff and I had a plan. It was what we envisioned—but health issues seemed to bring an unwanted interruption. But God has something different. He sees the whole picture. So when we thought our plan had finished, it was like God was saying, “Oh hey, I just showed you the first part. The preparing part. What you think needed to be scrapped — is actually part of the bigger picture.”

    We have a week of kids crusades, with a team from Missouri —sharing the Gospel in the schools- playing games- loving on little ones and giving them a hope that is beautifully beyond anything they have experienced… found only in Jesus Christ.

    I plan to update you daily as internet cooperates. If you join us on Facebook then I’m sure you have already seen the pictures the team has been posting. We have already experienced a great move of God— 3 gave their hearts to Christ yesterday morning. What a JOY to serve Him and see lives changed!

    Stay tuned. More to come.

    There is hope. Please journey with us.

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