Life Issues – Jeff & Angie

An Angie Story, breast cancer, Devotion, faith, Hope, Life Issues, Salvation, SIN, spiritual warfare, Trials

Your Testing Ground

November 2, 2024November 5, 2024 A. Knight

Have I told you my story yet?

You’re probably like, “Angie, you have told me SO much, I’m not sure which story you are talking about! 🙂

When I heard about you and what’s going on in your life, I felt like there were some nuggets from my own story that might help you this morning (or evening-whenever you find yourself reading this).

Sometimes I find myself holding back — well, being transparent, I do hold back at times. But this morning, I wanted to share it all. I only like good surprises. If I know what I’m up against, I can be better prepared to handle what’s coming. Well, life doesn’t work like that. Only God holds our story. Only He knows what’s in the book. From the day you and I were born until the day we draw our last breath–He knows ALL the stuff in between. So trust me when I say…there is nothing He can’t handle. And He will walk you through ALL the things you would rather be delivered out of. Sometimes He will do it like that…and then other times, He’s like, “Hey, I’ve got some people down the road who will need to know your story–and How you trusted Me to get you to the goal…are you willing?” Well, when You put it like that…. (To read the rest, go here.)

Photo credit: free photos from Pixabay.com

Devotion, faith, Family, Life Issues, prayer, Trials

Where Am I?

July 14, 2024July 14, 2024 A. Knight

By now, most of our friends and all of our family know what happened in our lives on July 4. The unknowns that morning were scary. But after the hospital and initial doctor visits we had more answers.

Jeff fell from scaffolding. Not as high as his fall in Bolivia–but this was onto concrete. His head and right shoulder took the brunt. He had a pretty bad concussion, broken and dislocated collarbone, broken rib, and fracture in the third vertebra. The extent of the fracture was unknown then. But I can promise you MUCH prayer ensued. And I believe God made that unknown fracture so insignificant that the final ex-ray and MRI showed a different picture than the initial one. It was more “like a “shin-splint” in the neck”, according to Dr. Lee (spine specialist). I believe that was the result of the prayers prayed by people here and in Bolivia.

The collarbone, dislocated forward rather than inward, which was “good”, meaning no surgery required. But they said he would always have a knot….well you know what I believe???? Yes. If you know me at all–you know I believe God can absolutely resolve the knot. Will HE? I don’t know what He will do.

Sometimes, like in Paul’s life, He chooses to leave certain things so that our weaknesses become a place in our lives where HIS strength shines. I may not know what He will do, but regardless of what He does, I know He can do ANYTHING….and sometimes, that “anything” results in using what we see as a weakness, to show us that through HIS strength we can accomplish whatever He puts in front of us.

He’s done it too many times before me–for me not to know this today.

Because of the concussion and his memory loss, Jeff repeatedly asked the same questions. “What happened? How did I get here? What was I doing?” With great patience, we each answered these questions with the same response: “You fell from scaffolding. Juno brought you. You were fixing one last board on the side of his house.” For several hours this went on. He doesn’t remember any of that…but he now remembers all his other lost memories (ALL Praise to GOD!!).

This morning in my prayer time, these questions came back to me. Many times in our lives we wind up in places we had no intention of ever being.

Our circumstances were the result of our actions–or many times, our “inaction”. The teen-mom never intended to be a mom at the age of 15. The young man never intended to destroy his mind with the alcohol and drugs. The couple never intended to end up in divorce court…

What happened? How did I get here? Most likely–guards were let down. Armor was not worn (spiritual armor). Our minds become distracted with everything going on in the world–and there is some bad things happening everywhere–yesterday’s (as$@ssination) attempt was a prime example of the ugly.

If we are not careful, our words, actions or inactions–and our attitudes can wreck our own lives and the ones we love. That’s what the devil wants. Wreckage piling up like an interstate traffic pile up. Once there–it’s mighty hard to get out.

Jeff’s accident was the result of some not-so-fancy footwork. But again, God had His mighty hand on him because just as in Bolivia, it could have been MUCH worse. We could be attending a funeral instead of church this morning.

I just want to pause in the “devotion-lesson” today and say a huge thank you to our Evangel Church family and our church in Bolivia, Centro Familiar de Adoración all our family and friends, both here and there–thank you. Your prayers have made a difference! We are believing for MORE! 🙂 We know NOTHING is impossible with God!

I will take this back up later–but I feel like someone needs to be reminded right now, pay attention to where you are and what you are doing. One misstep can land you where you don’t want to be. One word spoke in anger can do more damage than you can imagine.

I don’t want to find you asking the same question of “what happened?…. in your own life.

Devotion, faith, Grandchildren, Life Issues, prayer, Trials, Trust

Cover Them…

June 11, 2024June 11, 2024 A. Knight

In my quiet time this morning, I had one of those thoughts that came flying through. Not a bad thought-but a very clear “picture thought”.

The phrase, “cover me-I’m going in” did a fly by in my brain.

I have said it before, I enjoy a good western movie. Mostly the older ones though. I don’t think they make a western movie any more that doesn’t have a barn full of cussing and clothing issues….if you get my drift. So, I generally stick with the old black and white programs when I want to watch a good western.

It’s a shame though. A true shame that we have become so word ignorant that we have to rely on bad language to sell a movie. You can see real quick I could go off on a rant right here if I’m not careful. So I’ll stop and thank God that we actually have had some good movies in the past few years.

Back to the fly-by. “Cover me–I’m going in”, has been said in countless westerns, cop shows, murder mysteries, etc. What they were needing was back up. Someone to watch out for them. Warn them of … [Click here to read the rest on my personal blog]

Photo credit: free photo from Pixabay.com

Adversity, Bolivia, breast cancer, Devotion, faith, Hope, Life Issues, Missions, prayer, Trials, Trust

Facts vs Truth

August 2, 2023 A. Knight

Yesterday, when I sat down to write and pray, I did what I always do: write the date. August 1, 2023. I knew immediately what Wednesday, August 2, 2023 would represent. Seven years since the diagnosis of breast cancer marched into my ears, as if it was going to take up permanent residence. It was not.

There are some things that chemotherapy snatched away from my memories–but that day feels as if it is grounded in concrete with rebar. After my physician, ….to read the rest, head over to my personal journey blog.

Bolivia, breast cancer, Costa Rica, Life Issues, Missions, Trials, Trust

Early Morning Coffee…

June 22, 2023 A. Knight

“Wow.” -That is a word I use a LOT.

It lends itself to describe my feelings on a lot of things…from the good -to the bad…even to the ugly.

(I promise I don’t write about cancer often-but when I feel led to…I do. So maybe someone has just had a diagnosis, or needs to just know their loved one can make it through–this is for you.)

The word “WOW” depicts my astonishment over many things…

It’s what I wanted to say when my doctor looked at me in a sort of nervous way- and said the words “cancer” quickly, as if to get them out there in the open air–might relieve some of the stress she was feeling.

Her first words, “Well, I don’t have good news for you”, hung suspended, and I wanted to hit the rewind button and back track and maybe even have a re-do of the past few days events. But that wasn’t happening. It was there. The test run- the mammogram and the ultrasound with the biopsy all told the facts of what was under the skin of me…but just so far. It couldn’t get to the heart of me… that was and is only for God to see.

I sat on the back porch, ignored the obvious humidity and heat and drank my coffee at the beginning of that particular week and I felt a weariness and dread come over me–it knocked me backwards in my spirit. Have you ever felt spiritually knocked down? As if you were in a physically-real-fight?

The REST of the story is on my prayer journal blog…. HERE.

Adversity, breast cancer, faith, Life Issues, Ministry, Missions, News Letter, Trust

Pardon the Dust

May 11, 2017August 1, 2017 A. Knight

Have you ever seen the sign that says, “Pardon the Dust”?, in a store when it is under a remodeling, but they are still open for business? Well, that is pretty much like my life. I won’t speak for Jeff, but he would likely say the same thing. My area is really dusty these days. More so (in my mind) than the cancer days.

I told a new friend this week that [language school] seemed to be designed to do what the chemo did….kill off things that doesn’t belong. Then we learned what the name of the school meant; in Spanish, cincel means to chisel. Appropriate, don’t you think? I think many of the new students have felt the sharp edge of the chisel this week.

We are on day 4 of classes and I will do my best to share enough, but not too much that you get cold feet if God is speaking to your heart about missions. But in reality, if God is speaking to you….there is no amount of things I could say that would scare you away. You are in it for the long haul. Just like us. Be advised though, the enemy won’t like your decision–just as he didn’t like ours–BUT GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL. Through everything!

Our days begin early–Jeff slipping into an altogether new routine here, and myself as well. We get up early (Jeff, often around 4:00). He has always been an early riser-but I think this place calls for even earlier–simply because such deep God conversations need to take place. And listening. Escuchen….to listen. Above the voices in my head, I am learning to listen more to the Holy Spirit when He gives a direction. “This might hurt….but it’s for your good.”

There, He sets me on the block. Chisel and hammer. Dust is flying. I am noticing some things in me that needs correcting. I need to be more sensitive. Not quick to judge or assume based on what my eyes see…but to listen. He blows His holy air on the form sitting still on the block. That’s me. The tears I shed based on what I feel, the weaknesses in me, wash away more of the dust. He is working to see His image in our lives….

That was like chemo and radiation. “This might hurt, you will feel many changes, but it’s for your good”…. I think God prepared me in some ways on HOW to look at things so that I would not crumble (quite so much).

I have two friends who, one just this week lost her daughter to cancer, and our cancer journey began approximately the same time, and another dear woman is losing her husband, even as I type, to cancer. And here I sit. Healthy–preparing for a work God has set before me…and I cannot explain even the least amount of the whys of that. But God’s plans are perfect and I will not try and understand HIS understanding for the Word says, it’s way beyond me.

We are grateful for our monthly supporters and daily prayer partners. YOU have no idea! When I wake up in the morning–I know someone is praying! All during the week, I trust and believe someone is still believing with us that God has much in store! And their support continues so that we may journey on.

Each day in class (so far) I have felt so close to tears at times because there is NO English spoken by the teachers. It is brain numbing. There, that’s the chisel again. Learn a new way. Open your heart, mind, ears and listen. Admittedly, I come home and go to the bathroom to let the tears fall. It’s a release. Don’t feel sorry for me, pray with us. We need to learn this. The culture, the language, the people. Once the tears are dry, I feel better.

I learned just yesterday, the best thing to do after class is go for a long walk. So, Jeff and I walked yesterday, about 8 blocks, mostly uphill, to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Let’s look at that miracle for a minute. UP HILL. The backstory of this is I finished my last round of radiation treatments that took place every single day for 6 weeks the WEEK before we left for Costa Rica. I hardly had energy to pack. I had beloved friends, one at a time, come almost every day to lend a hand with our packing. I couldn’t even “think” clearly from the residual effects of the chemo yet, here I was packing with help, and then just a week later arriving here.

The walkway to our apartment is such a steep downhill trip, that first day I was so afraid I would fall face first–but I didn’t. Sure, my knees ached afterwards, but look again at the miracle. YESTERDAY, we walked over 8 blocks one way mostly uphill. Of course I was sweating like a horse when we got there, but my mind was clear. And we did our little shopping, enjoying the air conditioned grocery store…then we had to carry our packages back…all 8 blocks. Thankfully, my precious husband carried the two stuffed bags and I carried the umbrella. It rains every day.

New things. Every day something new. A new experience, a new feeling, a fresh mercy from God. We are learning now to live without the air conditioner. I have the blessing of two fans that Jeff bought after we arrived. THAT is huge to me here.

I look at many things differently. The dust that is gathering at the base of this Sculptors stone will soon be blown away again, and He will look to see what else needs adjusting. Hammer will continue to strike and I can count on sitting in this spot, under His chisel until He feels it’s time. I’m done. I’m ready. Then, I’ll go Home. Not to an earthly home, but to my heavenly home. All the while the chiseling and hammering is happening, work is being done, through me and on me. He will use me however HE sees fit….just as He will YOU when you say “yes, LORD, I’m willing”.

In the meantime friends, please pardon the dust. He’s still working on me.

[We are very grateful for a new supporter this week! If you are interested in becoming a prayer partner or a monthly supporter–or BOTH, please feel free to visit our agwm site, www.tinyurl.com/sendjeffandangie]

breast cancer, Life Issues, Missions

Be on the LOOKOUT

August 15, 2016October 21, 2016 A. Knight

From the time the first words were spoken– I was on the lookout. I’ve been given bad news before–and truthfully, I think my mind was sort of in shock with this. Cancer. This was not what I was looking for–and not part of our plan. I totally was not expecting what my doctor just said…but I was on the lookout for what God was about to do.

You may think I am a bit radical, but this is something I fully and firmly believe: God doesn’t give tragedies–but He allows life to come at believers the same as non-believers….and HE will use all of our circumstances for our good and His glory when we fully trust Him.

Recently I pulled my prayer journal out one morning and let my fingers and eyes trace back all the places in Scripture God had been leading me and all the whispers in the night that He had revealed. There was a distinct line…it was written seemingly in a dot-to-dot,

“Be on the lookout”….

God had been preparing me–even a year ago. No, I didn’t feel the lump a year ago, but I felt and heard from my heavenly Father. We had been praying and seeking God about the mission field….we were still waiting on an answer. Tears come quick to my eyes as I re-read the words that the Holy Spirit spoke to me over the course of about a week in the month of August, 2015 (that’s why I always encourage people, KEEP A PRAYER JOURNAL!).

I shake my head right now, in disbelief, NOT in what He’s doing–but in the incredibility of how He does things…it AMAZES me.

I don’t feel at liberty to share all the things He said in my private prayer time with you right now, except for this:

“Expect the Amazing.”

Maybe one day He will release me to tell you the full story of what He was doing–for now, I continue to keep track of His steps, trace His fingerprint in our lives and praise Him all along this mission journey.

Let me update you quick in case you are wondering about my health and progress. Diagnosed with breast cancer on August 2, 2016. Cancer was removed August 5, 2016 by way of lumpectomy and partial mastectomy. Pathology report a week later revealed–the mass was self-contained, the margins CLEAN and lymph nodes CLEAR. I will have 5 days of radiation and then pack for Bolivia! (Kidding on the last part, I have been slowly getting ready for a MASSIVE yard sale in September THEN we will be looking at getting some trunks and packing.

We have been blessed with amazing family and friends who have encouraged us, fed us, and liberally prayed for us. Thank you. For every cookie crumb and slice of ham! We need to be on a diet today!

We are still planning to leave by January 1since language school begins January 4th. BUT, all final decisions are God’s…and I completely trust and wait on His timing. There are new expenses to work through, but honestly, we both truly believe God will somehow –someway, get us through all of that–in order to get us there.

If you have always wanted to support a missionary with $25 a month (or whatever amount you feel), you can go here (click here) and scroll down to the bottom and select “give now”. You have options to the side of the “give” box. I put this statement here simply because you might want to know–and God will certainly use you and bless you in the process–as you would be joining us on the field by means of support!

Two words God has told me over and over–for over a year–through every single road block: “Trust Me.”

Can I ask you something? Do you trust Him?

This is one of the passages I have continually been led to over and over while on this journey–not the cancer journey, the mission journey.

Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, Because we have trusted in His holy name. Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us, Just as we hope in You.

Psalm 33:20-22 NKJV

Jeff and I don’t have all the answers, but if you are believing God for something bigger than you can even put down on paper, or even whisper in the dark, can I lean towards you this afternoon and tell you, He’s trustworthy….

No matter what happens tomorrow, or next week, next month or even next year, my soul rejoices in God alone. He is my hope-my salvation comes from God and the gift of eternal life through His only Son, Jesus Christ.

And I for one, am on the look-out for the next miraculous thing He has up His sleeve….

What about you?

breast cancer, faith, Life, Life Issues, love, Missions

More News

August 11, 2016October 21, 2016 A. Knight

Dear friends,

First thank you for praying SO faithfully for my surgery. If you follow my blog, you know by now that I had a life changing diagnosis of breast cancer (ductal invasive carcinoma) on Tuesday, August 2, 2016.

God has been right beside me every step of the way. Surgery was the 5th to remove the mass and biopsy lymph nodes. They said at the time of surgery, it was self-contained. GREAT NEWS! They wound up doing a lumpectomy along with a partial mastectomy. Yeah–I cried too. If you see me out and about, I would love a gentle hug! I’ve had so many praying –I believe God has GREAT things ahead as we continue forward!

The good thing in all of this is that it was caught early–and as I am one to put things off to the LAST MINUTE, God gifted me with a lot of pain in the mass. This is not normal I am told. I was told by several in the medical field that growing cancers are usually not found due to pain. But mine hurt like crazy–almost continually. It was a gift. It kept me from putting it off any longer.

Pathology results aren’t in yet…but other details and news can be found on our other blog–

Please visit: jeffandangieknight.com

Bookmark the page so that you can keep up with what GOD is doing! And remember to pray for us as we continue to prepare for our mission field in Bolivia!

breast cancer, faith, Life, Life Issues

Curve in the Road- from our Mission Blog

August 4, 2016 A. Knight

Wow. That is a word I use a LOT.

It lends itself to describe my feelings on a lot of things…from the good to the bad…even to the ugly.

It depicts my astonishment over many things…

Her first words, “Well, I don’t have good news for you” hung suspended and I wanted to hit the rewind button and back track and maybe even have a re-do of the past few days events. But that wasn’t happening. It was there. The test run- the mammogram and the ultrasound with the biopsy all told the facts of what was under the skin of me…but just so far. It couldn’t get to the heart of me… that’s for God to see.

I sat on the back porch, ignored the obvious humidity and heat and drank my coffee at the beginning of last week and I felt a weariness and dread come over me–it knocked me backwards in my spirit.

A few months before I had discovered what could be a life altering lump. I followed all the routine and advised things- and it went from “we see it”–to “it’s shrinking, must be a cyst”. But then things changed.

And last week Fear sat on my porch–had the stinking audacity to do so with my Bible right in my lap! And Fear whispered all the nasty stuff in my head….All the what-ifs played out in my mind.

What if you have cancer?

What if you can’t get to the mission field?

What if this is it?

What if you …….?

I cried. Admittedly that was a bad day–an emotional day. A break-down day. A day when I didn’t want to see anyone… but I had my Bible in my lap and it was open to the Psalms… I had been doing a lot of journaling from the Psalms…and praying.

“God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble. Therefore we will not be afraid, though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the seas, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with its turmoil…” Psalm 46:1-3

“When I am afraid, I will trust in You, In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not fear.” Psalm 56:3-4

Then I reminded myself (do you ever have to remind yourself of things?), I reminded myself WHOSE I was. What HE had told me–and that HE had set our course–it was not something I designed and picked out…it was ALL Him, baby! And if He went to the trouble to set so many things up– HE had a plan to use this.

My baby girl and my sister both said they had asked God to give it to them. I reminded them, God doesn’t “give” cancer. God gives good gifts.

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Matthew 7:11

BUT, God will take the things that happen in our lives and work them for our good–or someone else’s. It may not be about us…granted it may be happening to us or in our lives, but it may not be about us. He will strengthen us–and help us–but it may be for someone else all together.

I know you want to say, “do you mean God will allow someone to go through something tragic just for someone else?” Remember Jesus?

Don’t think for one second that I have it all figured out and that I’m totally good with it all. I’m not. I don’t have it figured out and honestly, I am afraid of what Friday will be like, and the disfigurement that comes with breast cancer….and the pain.

No, I’m not good with it–but I’m good with my Father–and I know HE has me in His hand and I’ve never left His sight…nor will I.

God has given me His Holy Spirit in advance…so that in times like these….His Presence never leaves me…ever. I cling to this–HIS Word is true and He is faithful-throughout all generations.

His faithfulness didn’t end when my God-fearing, Bible reading- church going grandparents passed away. His mercy is brand new every morning–and He is faithful to see and care for His children…of which I am one of.

Be gracious to me, God, be gracious to me, for I take refuge in You. I will seek refuge in the shadow of Your wings until danger passes. I call to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me. Psalm 57:1-2 [emphasis mine]

I don’t have all the answers. Honestly, I couldn’t sleep. And I had been rolling it around in my head for 48 hours–how I would even say this. But it’s said now.

If you are a mission supporter for us–Jeff and I want you to believe with us that we WILL be on the field at the time God has already picked out and the time we’ve had on our hearts. We are still believing for our budget to be 100% by December of THIS year.

Whoa! Did you just do a doubletake? I believe God can do anything. I believe this is a curve in the road and that up ahead is a victory none like we’ve ever experienced. We kindly ask that the mission supporters keep supporting… be a part of what God is going to do through your hands and our lives–in Bolivia! Don’t stop just because we can’t see what’s next…HE CAN!

You do know that the enemy will pull all sorts of stunts to keep the Gospel from getting out there… and he’ll stop at nothing–so that means we’ve got to be more determined than ever before.

We must be ever diligent about fully giving ourselves to Him–even if we have to do it every-single-day. All over again. At every obstacle…and around every curve in the road.

© Angie Knight 2016. All rights reserved. Used with permission from jeffandangieknight.com mission blog.

faith, Life Issues, love, New Year, Wanda

HOPE is a CHOICE

November 30, 2015October 21, 2016 A. Knight

2016 is not yet here—but it is coming! A year for HOPE. I don’t have my Christmas tree up yet….I will show you when I do, but my heart is already looking at 2016. I know. Stay in the present…but I find it hard sometimes. I keep straining to peek into 2016.

Before the New Year gets here, I wanted to share a little encouragement to those who may already have your blanket ready to pull over your head and hide for the next few weeks of seasonal festivities. I have one too…although, I pull it out much less often.

In 2013, I spoke at a Covenant Hospice event these words:

“Hope remembers the past, is aware of the present, but presses on toward the future.”

I was there to share an encouraging word to those who had suffered loss that year. It was the Christmas season—a time when we who have lost someone, remembers the heartaches of losing. More than losing a battle—or losing a game. This loss bears heavy on each person for months and years. Every anniversary we are reminded of the pain of loss. But today, I want to remind us of the HOPE we have. Let 2016 become a brand new start for each one.

Hope remembers. Hope can hear the past; the funny stories, the sweet songs, and Hope chooses that which is good. Hope realizes the present and has a determined focus to help someone else each day and believes firmly that tomorrow holds new life….as we are in Christ Jesus.

Hope rejoices. Psalms 146:5 “But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper-whose hope is in the LORD their God.”

As odd as this may sound, when my sister, Wanda was leaving this life, my younger sister, Aimee began telling funny family stories. We began to laugh. It was just the immediate family—and we felt at ease in the Presence of God. I even felt in my spirit that Wanda lingered a bit longer because she loved to laugh and loved a good “Aimee story”.

It’s okay to laugh—just as it’s okay to weep. We need both. It is a washing of the eyes and soul. And we all need that bath.

Hope is resilient. Hope resolves to continue on. Hope anchored in Christ recovers readily from the winds and waves of life. Hope pushes us forward, knowing “forward” is where healing and growth takes place, not with our heels and heart digging into the past dry dirt of yesterday. There’s no nourishment in the past.

As we navigated through our first Christmas without Wanda, I felt like I walked around wearing my clothes wrong-side-out. I felt turned around and upside down. This was new. I was not sure how I was supposed to transition through this season of life.

The joy of the LORD truly became my strength. I discovered that laughter is possible again—and love continues on. Even after they’re gone. And even with fresh tears, I can smile and rejoice at a new day coming!

Yes, our futures do look different when they are gone—but Hope can take that seat at the table and we can feast on the joy of the LORD. It takes time to see this—as that first year I didn’t feel that “Hope”, rather I felt the reminder of Loss. Navigation is painful—and often difficult. But when we allow the God of hope to guide our hearts and minds—it is possible.

We are approaching our 8^thyear of her home-going. Memories still flood the heart—but Hope stands strong beside each one. We remember all the blessings and we rejoice in God’s gift of life—and we become resilient as we keep our faith, trust and HOPE in Jesus Christ.

After all, Hope is a choice.