Monthly Archives: May 2017

Sacrificing Normal

Exactly one month ago today, our lives changed.   If you had told me I would have experienced some of the emotions I have felt, I might have stared at you in slight disbelief.  No one prepared me for this feeling, the deluge of emotions that have encompassed my days.

I was talking with one of our girls last night and expressing some “slight mama worry”….and she said, “mama, give me back to Jesus and stop worrying”.

That’s the first thing you have to do when you step away from the altar of surrender, you must let go.  Let go of the “thought” that you have any control whatsoever of anything that happens at home.  Because you don’t.  Of course, I never had control anyway, but it sure is a nice thought to tuck around myself at bedtime.

This has been an especially difficult week simply because of that old enemy, “discouragement” when I don’t get it right.  On the upside, I was able to carry on a half decent short conversation with one of our uber drivers this week.  Surprised myself.

We have the absolute BEST profesoras here at Cincel.  They are patient and kind.  Correcting with a heart that wants you to “get it”.  I love that.  That’s just like the Lord.  He corrects us with a heart that wants us to “get it”….and release it to HIM.  This gift of being able to learn the language that will enable us to minister when we get to Bolivia is just that, a gift.  Not one to put up in a closet, but one to use daily…and I so bad want to get it and use it.

That’s our biggest prayer needs:  Strength to overcome the discouragement, and the ability to comprehend, hear the sounds, form the words, and get it right.  There have been several fighting various illnesses, from allergies, to viral issues, etc.  We need to all stay well!  Add that to the prayer list. 🙂

We’ve had a few friends contact us this week to encourage us and let us know they are praying–you have no idea how much that is appreciated!  That makes us not feel so separated from you.  YOU are so important to us.  YOU are part of this team–this mission team headed to Bolivia.  We thank you every time we go to the fresh market on Saturday’s.  It’s because of your support that we can get the things we do, and because of your support, God will enable us to GET THIS language and share His love with those who have yet to hear about His great love.

Jeff and I thank you.  Words cannot express it enough.  I had a friend contact me this week and said that the Lord had prompted her to double their giving.  Then her husband’s job situation changed somewhat.  But she continued to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit…friends, that message came to me on a day when my body was tired, my mind was aching from the discouragement of not getting “it” again in class that day and I was simply full of “what is HE doing with us…two old[er] folks in this place surrounded by young people and young families…. But HE called….and we raised our hands and said “yes”.

We felt a compelling with every single missionary message we heard.  We knew one day God was going to do something with us, but actually moving and serving ON the field never entered our minds.  Our work first started by giving.  We support several missionaries, and we are thankful to be a part of a mission work that we can’t actually “go see”, but we can help keep them on the field…reaching the lost.  And that is exactly what YOU are doing with each donation.

So thank you.  I cried the day we left and hugged our dear brother (from another mother), Floyd Aycock as he left us at the airport.  I felt like the last thread of my normalcy was leaving on that red truck.  But this is a new normal.  And the “normal” seems to change as it become necessary.

I suppose I didn’t pick up on the fact there would be so many “different” sacrifices.  I told a friend just tonight that one thing I missed (when she asked me what I missed) was the ability to hop in my car and go anywhere, anytime.  Independence.  I never heard a missionary talk about the sacrifice of their independence.  I heard them talk about lack of water, electricity, I heard them talk about parasites, and sickness, but not independence.  That one struck me.  I loved to get in my car and GO.

This week I looked up the word, Sacrifice.

Sacrifice:  the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

It hit me like a brick; the lost.  We must surrender the desired independence to learn the language to reach the lost.  Granted, I won’t have any more independence when we get to the field… but I will be able to converse with the people.

I want God to so fill us with the passion to learn this language that our thought processes are “on fire”, as one of my teachers said this week (when I got three in a row correct–blind miracle!).

Thank you all for praying–for keeping up with us, for sending us notes via email, instagram, linkedIn and facebook.  It has helped me so much.  I have read every one and read them to Jeff.  We are encouraged by your love and care.

Tomorrow is market day (Farmer’s Market) and I hope you will join us via instagram or facebook when we get to post our pictures!  We love you all!

 

© Angie Knight 2017.  All rights reserved.

sacrifice. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/sacrifice (accessed: May 27, 2017).


Pushing Through

We have probably all read the P.U.S.H acrostic , pray until something happens…

IMG_1943In reading my devotion this morning it took me to look at some truths in our lives- not just mine and Jeff’s- but in every believer.

What happens when IN the urgent, knee buckling circumstance -prayer doesn’t get answered the way we had hoped?…..

We keep ON believing and praying. For HIS will, not our own.

When the loved one dies, instead of being healed on this earth; when the divorce is final; when the teen rebels; when the money runs out; when the house burns down; when the car won’t start; when the pink slip is issued; when the cupboard is bare….. On and on we could go- & you probably have so many more circumstances in your life you could list– but what do we do–as believers when we pray for that miracle– and yet the circumstances don’t change? We remain.

We remain clinging to the One who saved us. The true and only HOPE of this world.  We pick ourselves up, and carry on.

The miracle DOES TAKE PLACE. THE PRAYER IS ANSWERED, however, in a way that brings all eyes to HIM as He does restore our soul and leads us in the path of righteousness– always.

Our dire circumstances does not negate who He is or what He can do. HIS goal is to reveal Himself to us and be revealed to the word through us.

Weep sister (and brother), in the struggle, but don’t forget Who called you, paved the way for you, and has great plans to use you…..

Push your way through the bars of your situation that has seemed to close you off and bind your heart -and look to HIM,…..and give HIM praise and glory all along the way. In THIS, others shall know — HE IS THE CHRIST.

“He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff — they comfort me.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭23:3-4‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

http://bible.com/72/psa.23.3-4.hcsb

 

Photo from our market day walk in San José, Costa Rica

(c) Angie Knight 2017. All rights reserved.


Pardon the Dust

Have you ever seen the sign that says, “Pardon the Dust”?, in a store when it is under a remodeling, but they are still  open for business?  Well, that is pretty much like my life.  I won’t speak for Jeff, but he would likely say the same thing.  My area is really dusty these days.  More so (in my mind) than the cancer days.

I told a new friend this week that [language school] seemed to be designed to do what the chemo did….kill off things that doesn’t belong.  Then we learned what the name of the school meant; in Spanish, cincel means to chisel.   Appropriate, don’t you think?  I think many of the new students have felt the sharp edge of the chisel this week.

We are on day 4 of classes and I will do my best to share enough, but not too much that  you get cold feet if God is speaking to your heart about missions.  But in reality, if God is speaking to you….there is no amount of things I could say that would scare you away.  You are in it for the long haul.  Just like us.  Be advised though, the enemy won’t like your decision–just as he didn’t like ours–BUT GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL.  Through everything!

Our days begin early–Jeff slipping into an altogether new routine here, and myself as well.  We get up early (Jeff, often around 4:00).  He has always been an early riser-but I think this place calls for even earlier–simply because such deep God conversations need to take place.  And listening.  Escuchen….to listen.  Above the voices in my head, I am learning to listen more to the Holy Spirit when He gives a direction.  “This might hurt….but it’s for your good.”

There, He sets me on the block.  Chisel and hammer.  Dust is flying.  I am noticing some things in me that needs correcting.  I need to be more sensitive.  Not quick to judge or assume based on what my eyes see…but to listen.  He blows His holy air on the form sitting still on the block.   That’s me.  The tears I shed based on what I feel, the weaknesses in me, wash away more of the dust.  He is working to see His image in our lives….

That was like chemo and radiation.  “This might hurt, you will feel many changes, but it’s for your good”…. I think God prepared me in some ways on HOW to look at things so that I would not crumble (quite so much).

I have two friends who, one just this week lost her daughter to cancer, and our cancer journey began approximately the same time, and another dear woman is losing her husband, even as I type, to cancer.  And here I sit.  Healthy–preparing for a work God has set before me…and I cannot explain even the least amount of the whys of that.   But God’s plans are perfect and I will not try and understand HIS understanding for the Word says, it’s way beyond me.

We are grateful for our monthly supporters and daily prayer partners.  YOU have no idea!  When I wake up in the morning–I know someone is praying!  All during the week, I trust and believe someone is still believing with us that God has much in store!  And their support continues so that we may journey on.

Each day in class (so far) I have felt so close to tears at times because there is NO English spoken by the teachers.  It is brain numbing.  There, that’s the chisel again.  Learn a new way.  Open your heart, mind, ears and listen.    Admittedly, I come home and go to the bathroom to let the tears fall.  It’s a release.  Don’t feel sorry for me, pray with us.  We need to learn this.  The culture, the language, the people.  Once the tears are dry, I feel better.

I learned just yesterday, the best thing to do after class is go for a long walk.  So, Jeff and I walked yesterday, about 8 blocks, mostly uphill, to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  Let’s look at that miracle for a minute.  UP HILL.  The backstory of this is I finished my last round of radiation treatments that took place every single day for 6 weeks the WEEK before we left for Costa Rica.  I hardly had energy to pack.  I had beloved friends, one at a time, come almost every day to lend a hand with our packing.  I couldn’t even “think” clearly from the residual effects of the chemo yet, here I was packing with help, and then just a week later arriving here.

The walkway to our apartment is such a steep downhill trip, that first day I was so afraid I would fall face first–but I didn’t.  Sure, my knees ached afterwards, but look again at the miracle.  YESTERDAY, we walked over 8 blocks one way mostly uphill.  Of course I was sweating like a horse when we got there, but my mind was clear.  And we did our little shopping, enjoying the air conditioned grocery store…then we had to carry our packages back…all 8 blocks.  Thankfully, my precious husband carried the two stuffed bags and I carried the umbrella.  It rains every day.

New things.  Every day something new.  A new experience, a new feeling, a fresh mercy from God.  We are learning now to live without the air conditioner.  I have the blessing of two fans that Jeff bought after we arrived.  THAT is huge to me here.

I look at many things differently.  The dust that is gathering at the base of this Sculptors stone will soon be blown away again, and He will look to see what else needs adjusting.  Hammer will continue to strike and I can count on sitting in this spot, under His chisel until He feels it’s time.  I’m done.  I’m ready.  Then, I’ll go Home.  Not to an earthly home, but to my heavenly home.  All the while the chiseling and hammering is happening, work is being done, through me and on me.  He will use me however HE sees fit….just as He will YOU when you say “yes, LORD, I’m willing”.

In the meantime friends, please pardon the dust.  He’s still working on me.

 

[We are very grateful for a new supporter this week!  If you are interested in becoming a prayer partner or a monthly supporter–or BOTH, please feel free to visit our agwm site, www.tinyurl.com/sendjeffandangie]

© Angie Knight 2017.  All rights reserved.  All Photography © Angie Knight unless otherwise noted.